iTunes Exclusive Episode The Witch

The following is a sooner orgator production.
The following is a sooner orgator production.
If you are hearing the sound of my voice, it means the following conditions have been met.
Means at least once in your life you have listened to the clubhouse podcast, live every Sunday night,
7 Eastern for Pacific.
Your one-stop shop for all things sports and entertainment.
But it also means you subscribe on iTunes because it's time for another.
The one hundred and eighty-fifth one of these.
Slowly making our way towards another milestone of people.
My name is Rob, I'm the executive producer of the clubhouse podcast, and I'm not a fan of things scaring me.
Never really have been.
In contrast to my co-host who sits across the desk, who is a huge fan of things scaring him in a cinematic nature.
He is chat, welcome sir.
I am in date, call me, call me sick and twisted that way.
That's the only reason I need to call you that.
Did realize I was the only reason.
No, I'm fair enough.
Also joining us to give a unique perspective.
He's getting featured in quite a few of these lately because he's been attending a lot of screens
that you and I haven't for various reasons.
He's the official fact checker of this show.
And he'll cast a spell on you if you let him.
You may know him is fun, don't go, but his mum and even don't want to call him.
Sir, do you mean the Montana Betsy, the Cow spell?
I'm not here to judge you outwardly.
You think that one alone?
You say slow again to milestone.
I want to say slowly, we're getting a lot of these.
Brother, you ain't lying.
But some of these, I'm staying alone because we're doing double duty at the same time.
We are.
In this particular case, I was out of town on business, but you got to see a film.
Because whatever we do one of these, it is to review something.
And this is no exception.
Robert Eggers is a first time feature length director of a film called The Witch.
Now, this is a guy who is not, I would say not a stranger to the genre as in 2007.
He directed an animated black and white Hansel in Gretel as well as a short version of the telltale heart.
So this guy is kind of in the genre a little bit.
Basically this takes place in 19, I'm sorry, it's 16, 30s New England.
Or at a family basically gets exiled out of their their their colony.
And they wind out in the middle of nowhere.
And stuff starts to get weird.
This film has been heralded for months as what could be one of the creepiest films.
Of the year, and Don got a chance to check it out.
And as you will have check it out, because of our good friends allied in a great marketing and actually firm business.
Awesome.
Our best friends.
Yes, they are.
So thank you so much Ashley for the invite to this thing.
All right, let's talk about it.
Now we're 33, which is about your average.
Yeah.
Scary movie.
Fair.
On the.
Let me get to the plot a little bit later.
I'll get back to that.
Let me start with the acting.
If that's fine.
The acting was very.
I thought was very good.
It's a small cast except for at the beginning when they're in that township in the colony.
And they're talking to the governor who's played by Julian Richings when they get banished.
Basically it's just the family out there.
And that's the mother father in the.
The children.
And the main role you could say is paid play by the oldest daughter, which is played by Anna Taylor Joy.
And the place Thomas and you would only know her from a series called Atlantis or Viking quest.
Yeah.
So she's in vampire academy, but she was in credit.
Yeah.
But the father's played by Ralph.
Uh, Eisen and the mother by Kate Dickie.
Um, who they both have skins under under their under the cred.
When comes to.
I mean, I think they're starting off actors.
Exactly.
Yeah.
I mean, these people they've been around.
They've done a lot of good stuff over the years.
Like Dickie was in Primitius.
Okay.
Dickie.
Um, so I mean, they.
They.
Oh, and I answered him was also in game of thrones.
Exactly.
So I mean, they they got some cred when it comes to, you know, past roles and stuff like that.
So they're not newbies.
Um, there are the young twins who basically, I think they're starting off actors.
So they have, of course, the infant.
I don't even know who you can credit that on.
But, um, basically what I go seeing with the plot is they, you know, go the abandoned
the environment on the edge of the scary hunted woods.
And one day, the Thomasons with the youngest infant in all the sun.
She looks up in the child's gone.
And then it's the missing child.
And another sun gets cursed and stuff like that.
And the mother is blaming Thomas and they all, all this daughter for all the faults
and thinking that made possibly she's a witch and all that stuff.
Um, so because she was with the child when it disappeared and everything.
So it's that kind of, you know, plot with that.
But all it takes is the accusation.
Yeah.
Why not?
Yeah, it's just the family.
Anyone into a nude?
No.
No, you can't say, yeah.
Of course they got better.
Yeah.
Maybe a frog, but I'm not giving up.
But I know realistically, but.
Right past.
You're welcome, internet.
Exactly.
But I would say when acting, um, Taylor joined a very good in the main role.
I thought, uh, also I have to give a credit to Ralph Eonson.
I thought he did very, very good as an artist.
An artist.
An artist.
An artist.
An artist.
Yeah.
He, he, he to very gives the father trying to keep everything and keep the piece between the mother
and in, in Thomas and the main character.
Um, so I found the real faults.
You know, you're getting what those two main actors with that.
And I think Thomas and stepped up.
So, but I can say it's a very, very small cast.
It's basically just the family.
Uh, okay.
The twins did very good for what they thought for the young twins.
So, um, acting was fine on that.
Um, when it comes to the look, I loved it.
It's basically said, it looks creepy.
Uh, it's in, they're on the edge of the woods.
They're shown in New England there by the mountains.
Uh, they found an open area where they start growing crops and stuff like that.
And it's right on the edge of the woods.
But, uh, when it comes to the look of the film, it was historically correct.
Which is a big thing on me.
Yeah, you're big on that.
Yeah.
The first scene is in the colony, which was only a couple of shots.
But that looked really nice.
Uh, but basically just takes around the rest of the film is around that little farm area.
You know, and, uh, that's where the whole rest of the movie takes place.
But out there, the shots were seen were incredible.
You thought that, uh, you were back in New England at that time.
You know, if, and I really liked how it had the look of that kind of dark field,
where it's always cloudy and stuff like that.
You know, so when it comes to the look and stuff, I was very, very impressed.
So, um, I got, I got to give heads up on that one.
So acting pretty good.
Yeah.
Look what's pretty good.
Let's talk about the story itself.
Okay.
This is where it's going to get interesting.
This is where the wheels fall on.
Yes.
Um, and I hear, you know, different critics have different ideas and stuff like that.
Like, you know, how we thought of under the skin, but then the critics were right.
Yeah.
I mean, that's why we ought to think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
He's kind of like, um, I've seen a lot of horror films just like Chad, um,
seeing the Halloween, everything like that.
Friday, the 13th, everything.
But, um, when it came to this plot, I put my written review at
www dot the clubhouseplacas.com.
Tis our website.
Yeah.
See how I did that.
It's very nice.
Very nice.
You look.
It was kind of that cheap scare.
Really cheap scare, I thought.
Yeah.
Now, like, like in a state fair kind of a way or not that.
But they're trying to scare you, but it's very cheaply done.
Jump scare.
Jump scare.
Okay.
I know like a couple of those.
Uh, there are a couple brutal scenes.
You could say, but they were a few and far between.
And give example, like the Blair Witch Project.
If that was a true story, it would be real scary.
But it wasn't a true story.
And if you watched the film, one thing happens is a couple of rocks clanking
in the middle of night and you're some voices in the middle of the night.
That's it.
But in their defense, though, like, I prefer a film like that because it becomes
more psychological.
It's more about what you don't see.
I was watching that going rocks clanking in some voices.
And this is supposed to be in its not true story.
It didn't scare me at all.
You know, this thing where they tried to do the jump scare.
Yeah, there's a couple scenes where you saw something that something came out of
middle, nowhere and stuff in a maybe jump.
But there were cheap scares.
I did.
I wasn't on the edge of the seat with my heart pounding or anything like that.
I know he's trying to make a horror film.
And I know the point that he was trying to get across with this thing where stuff
just keeps getting worse and worse and worse.
But if they're going to issue this like a horror film and they're going to put it
out like a horror film, it should be a horror film.
This thing had a lot of filler material in between the scary events, if you could say
they're very far from you between.
I would see, like I said, the child being kidnapped up beyond that.
There's probably only about four or five other scenes that really they try to scare
you.
A lot for you from the scare.
Very much.
Very much.
And they try to do it with some, you could say, go or you could put it that way.
Your brutality shots real quick.
But I just, I saw what they're trying to do.
I commend them for trying to get the point of where, you know, they're in a middle
nowhere and all of a sudden these were things start happening and there's a witch out
there and all that stuff.
But they could have done it a lot better with a lot more something just then cheap jumps.
Without spoiling it.
Yes.
Because from what you've told me the way they've pictured is we don't know if she's a witch.
We don't know if she's not a witch.
Is there a payoff either way?
Yes, there is.
There's a payoff at the end.
But it's all for you.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I'm going to say is at the end you find out if she is or is not.
Okay.
So there is there is a closure to this.
Yeah, if she really is a witch like the mom accuses or not.
Even though it's even built on IMDB that there is also a witch character
in their besides that.
So, I mean, I'll give that out.
You know, minor spoiler that there is a witch character in this film.
Okay.
But you may or may not be her.
Yeah, exactly.
Okay.
Okay.
It just felt too short on the plot.
I wish it could.
I mean, if it wasn't a horror film and they're trying to,
hey, just show life out there in 1600s.
I really would have been in on something like this.
But because it just showed that trying to live out there by themselves and grow crops
and all that stuff and make it on their own without any help from society
and anywhere else out in the middle of nowhere.
You know, so.
Yeah.
Just fill too short on me on that one.
Anything you want to add, chat?
No, I think you pretty much covered it.
Yeah.
I mean, it's some genre of some people are going to love it.
But again, we have to think our best friends, allied,
Ashley, everybody for inviting us to this thing.
Thank you so much for the invite to all of us.
All right.
Well, then let's get to the final analysis.
The way we do the final analysis on this show.
We don't give you thumbs up, thumbs down.
We don't give you stars.
We don't give you letter grades.
Our audience whom we affectionately refer to as the empire.
They want us to go a little deeper.
So we're going to do that.
I'm going to ask Don two questions.
Question number one, is would he see this film again?
The answer is no, that we're done here.
If the answer is yes, then I want to know how far he's willing to go to see it.
Well, he pay for price.
Will he go out at twilight?
Will he go during the day?
Will he go first thing on Saturday morning?
Maybe second run at the dollar theater?
Will he run it from red box?
Streaming on Netflix or wait for it on TV?
Done.
Would you see this film again?
Because of the dragging and cheap scares.
No.
He says no.
So we're done here.
So don't with the big no.
Fortunately, I love the look and I love the acting.
But I'm not going to watch it again.
Be honest.
And they want honesty.
I will not watch this again.
All right.
It is the witch directed by Robert Eggers.
By the time you hear this, they will be available for you to check out.
In that case, show them and let's do the plugs.
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We're big fans.
You can email me if you like questions, comments, concerns, so I'm going to go
Pound Sand.
I'm going to get something to drink so I can clear up this throat.
I am Robert the clubhousepodcast.com.
I am chat with the clubhousepodcast.com.
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Do you think Jules Warmicrowd have any interest in this?
I don't know.
He's kind of killed my interest in this.
Our normal live show every Sunday night.
7 Eastern for Pacific is your one stop shop for all things, sports, and entertainment.
I just keep subscribing on iTunes because you got that going for you.
Which is nice.
So until next time, for Don, for Chad, for the Empire.
I'm Rob.
Clubhouse is closed.
Bernie Palmer, she might be working some black magic up there.
I'm just saying.
The meeting was a sooner or later production.
I'm going to go.
Why?
Because I have to.