iTunes Exclusive Episode Red Sparrow

If you're hearing the sound of my voice, a couple of things have happened in your life
at least once.
We're not here to judge you outwardly because of them.
At least once you've checked out the Clubhouse podcast live every Sunday night, seven Eastern
four Pacific, your one-stop shop for all things pop culture.
But it also means you subscribe to our nice little show on your favorite podcast app
because it is time for another exclusive iTunes exclusive number three 53.
Moving this thing along, man.
Welcome.
My name is Rob.
I'm a producer of the Clubhouse podcast and I love me a good spy movie.
I do.
Big.
It's one of my favorite genres.
The spy film is one of my favorite genres.
But I'm not alone.
We got a whole room full of people who talk about a movie, including my co-host.
And a man who's if you trade the windbreaker he's wearing for a trench coat, he could move
to DC right now.
I'm not even sure what to make of that.
That's a compliment, sir.
You're looking very sharp.
Even though you still need a haircut, you still look very sharp.
I like the tie because no, let's talk about this for a second.
Chad is very finicky when it comes to ties.
Debate me?
Yeah.
This is an audio medium.
You nodding your head.
And I would agree with that.
The tie you're wearing right now is probably one of the best ties I've seen you have.
I'm a huge fan of this tie.
And again, this is an audio medium.
So nobody knows what I'm talking about.
That's a sharp looking tie.
Your mic's not on yet, smart guy.
Let's keep moving all the way around.
Next to him is the official fact checker of this show.
And a man that's not gonna let the man tell him he has to wear a tie because I've never
seen it happen.
Well, maybe?
No, once.
Once.
Last year, maybe.
Once.
But see, I wasn't wearing a tie that day.
You may know him as Von Dongeau, but it's mama named him Don Ford.
I'm gonna go on Don Ford.
You know, a few seconds ago, you said, I do.
Did you?
I do as my wife's maiden name.
I have no idea what just happened here.
Don Ford.
Just happened.
That's fair.
That's fair.
Next to him is the lady of the house.
And you call her a sparrow, she's gonna punch you in the face.
General Miss here.
How are you, friend?
I have to say that as the female opinion, yes, that is a sharp tie.
You look very dapper.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Riding out the dais is a man who's joined the rest of us.
Ties?
We don't even know stinking ties.
Alex is here.
I will have to say that this is my favorite movie that I've ever been assaulted while
watching.
Hey.
Hey.
Yes.
He's talking about your wife kicking him in the head.
By the way, I wore a tie since my wedding one time and that was at the church week.
Did you realize that means you got Chevy chased?
I'm sorry.
Hey, at least it wasn't some kid the whole movie though.
Okay.
At least give us that.
No.
Is it her squailing and kicking me?
Well, it's just it's all like during the whole movie you get that kid behind you the whole
film.
Boom.
Or like an airplane seat.
Boom.
The boom.
The boom.
The boom.
This is the longest intro to an iTunes exclusive ever was the wheel coming off once again.
We're almost at five minutes right now.
And we're going to Hollywood studio.
Here's this.
So you can go what?
What are those people doing in Texas?
Whatever we do one of these it is to review something.
This is no difference.
Francis Lawrence.
No relation.
Direct Jennifer Lawrence.
No relation.
For the fourth time in a movie that doesn't have hunger or games in the title.
Because he did the last three.
Indeed.
It is time to talk about Red Sparrow.
For start this whole thing.
Yes.
Are you seeing?
Absolutely.
We got to take our best friends.
I think Josh the whole crew.
We love them.
They're our best friends.
You know, Josh once told me.
Yeah.
That the intro to our show sounds.
He goes.
He just sends me a link.
And you know, he's like.
I remember that.
Rob's intro sounds like this.
And I clicked a link.
And it was the opening for the outer limits.
And I'm like, you know what?
I'll take that.
We are on the outer limits.
Third wheel.
That's your boy.
He's the mayor of the outer limits.
Kid me.
So here's the deal.
Two hours and 20 minutes are spent on this thing.
Which we may wind up there at this rate.
It is a spy film.
Jennifer Lawrence.
It's based on a book by a former CIA operative.
Which is actually, yes, part of a trilogy.
There are three books in this series.
But she plays Dominika Egerova.
I think I'm wrong girl.
She's Russian.
Egerova.
Egerova.
She's Russian.
So she is a top ballerina in the great city of Moscow.
And after a freak accident that ends her career prematurely,
she has to find a way to keep a roof over her head
and provide for her ailing mother.
Played by the great Julie Richardson, by the way.
Let's put that out there.
So she kind of gets roped into a new job
from her Uncle Vanya, played by my fias showing arts.
Did I say that right?
I mean, listen to my mother baller.
Sure.
I can roll with that.
He's like that guy and that thing.
He's been doing a billion things.
But he works for the Russian government in counterintelligence
and things like that.
And he gets her sent off to what's called Sparrow School,
where she basically, you okay over there?
Sorry, I was just remembering what they actually call it in the movie.
Yeah.
I'm staying.
Remember, family shit.
Right.
That's why I laughed and didn't say it.
Yes.
Where she basically learns how to use the art of seduction
to extract information from people.
Because what she's going to be end up having to do
is do these kinds of things to an American agent
played by the great Joel Edgerton,
who you guys know I'm a huge fan of.
He plays Nate Nash and he knows about a mole
in the Russian intelligence community.
And she has to extract this information from him
by gaining his trust and all that good stuff.
Also in this film, the great Charlotte Rampling,
who I am a huge fan of, Mary Louise Parker.
How are you doing?
She's in this as well.
Seren Hines, who you put Seren Hines in anything I'm in.
I can watch that guy read a phone book.
You've also got Jeremy Irons, Bill Camp.
Bill Camp's been in like four movies I've seen in the last four months.
This dude's everywhere.
So let's dive in.
I'm going to be interested in this discussion.
All right.
Because I have read your reviews that will all be located
at www.theclubhousepodcast.com,
which is our website.
And this may be only the second or third time
that all five of us are going to have reviews
on the same production.
Apparently I live on an island somewhere.
Okay.
Because...
Ms. Keaton Island?
Okay.
Sometimes it feels that way.
Have you been watching the weather lately?
I loved this film.
I absolutely love this movie.
Now, in the opening of the show, I said,
I love me a good spy movie.
But I think this film is going to...
It's going to rub a lot of people the wrong way no pun intended.
Because...
If I didn't say it, you were gonna.
I'm saying that no pun intended part of it.
This is an old school style of spy film.
Where...
It's told very, very slow.
There's a lot going on.
And it's two hours and twenty minutes.
So don't get the large soda.
Or you're going to have to go to the bathroom in the middle
and you're going to miss stuff.
Done for it.
But...
I went once.
But then you were like, what happened?
I'm very confused right now.
No, I was at the very end and still I knew it.
That is true.
He did wait for the movie to end and to ask every major problem.
That's fair.
But I love this movie because I loved how it told its story.
The story unfolded.
There were turns.
There were twists.
Some of you could see coming from a mile away.
Others you went, oh, I see what you did there.
I enjoyed this.
Because it's not that James Bond...
Let's blow some stuff up and kiss babies and shake hands.
And it wasn't that Jason Bourne.
It's just a living graphic novel and the parody of its own self
that that franchise has turned into.
That last one was terrible and I stand by that.
And with the really strong female...
Yeah.
I really like that.
If remind me of the John, is it Kare?
Is that John the Kare?
Did I say that right?
Like Tinkert, Taylor, Soldier, Spy.
Spy who came in from the cold.
Those kinds of things.
And I dug that about it.
Okay.
I'm going to say this up, Fred.
Please do.
It got a little too complicated for me.
I know, I know, I know I'm not the highest IQ person here.
I'm close.
But I'm not the highest IQ person here.
But if you go to my wrist, sentence was structured the way it was.
I mean...
But don't we love you?
That's why he's my dude.
If you go to my wrist...
That's why he's my dude.
If you go to my review at www.cos.com.
Which is still our website.
And a quote got to the point where my brother's double crossed me.
But it did not protect his wife's cousin.
So the odd dealer will turn on the double crossed the banker.
And for the record, I did not edit that.
That's it.
Yeah.
Because it got to the point where...
Although I had to put hyphens in the middle of everything.
Yeah.
But literally, because it got to the point of...
You know, if I help an agent B, it makes me sad.
But that's why you have to pay attention.
But it got to the point where we got too complicated.
I mean, the people who wrote the NASCAR rules wrote the right part for this thing.
But don't at the same time.
You know what?
I'm giving him credit for that.
Yeah.
I liked that it got so deep versus just being light and fluffy.
And that's all said...
I liked it.
And that's also said going into this.
This is what the kids like to call a hard R.
But...
Because...
There are...
Before we get to that...
Okay.
That's the point of...
Like you see, getting deep, but not too complicated.
And that's where I think it got on this thing.
Too complicated.
That's just my opinion.
And I'm allowed to have that in me.
Now, about getting hard R.
Yes.
There is full nudity in this.
There's full nudity.
There are graphic torture scenes in this.
You see them being tortured in it.
Don't do a side view like reservoir dogs.
They actually show the torture.
There's a couple of moments where we...
Yeah.
You know, because I was like...
Ask Alex in this head.
Because I have a little bit...
I have a little bit of a weaker constitution as the years are going on.
I've seen worse things that have made me go...
Yeah.
But this one, I mean...
Yeah, it's our full reason.
And even...
There were moments where my toes curled.
I'm not gonna lie.
It was almost NC-17.
Yeah, that's a little...
The Fantastic Faith Ford actually got Royal Scrooing and actually kicked Alex in the back of the head,
which we apologize for.
But...
Yeah, but I mean, still, it is graphic.
But I did like that point because it wasn't just to be graphic.
It made the point of what these people go through.
Yeah, you're off a quiet over there.
I'm taking my moment.
Okay.
Very good.
I just...
I really, really enjoyed this film.
I had so much fun with this movie.
No, and if reading my review gave you the impression that I didn't like it,
maybe I missed something, but I just...
There was so much to it that was hyper-intelligence.
I liked it, but I...
I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it, beyond belief.
I will say...
The reveal...
In the third act...
Honestly, didn't hit me until that moment.
And I could go back at that moment and look back and go, I see it now.
And as I said on my review now that I've seen it all the way through...
Which is where?
www.theclubhouse.com
That's our website.
All three words in that order.
I need...
Take a lesson from me already.
I need some lesson then.
But it was after having seen the whole way through.
I want to go back, because I want to see where some of the other pieces were that...
You kind of remember there was something there, but with it being over two hours...
You need to see it again.
Now, here's my point.
And I got to give it to Lawrence, Jennifer Lawrence.
How you doing?
She spent months trying to do this, but it did not work.
I disagree.
I agree.
I agree.
You're not your way in your hand.
You're waiting for your moment in your moment.
The accent.
It bothered me.
It bothered me.
It bothered me.
It bothered me.
Okay.
And I'm going to talk to someone like this for the rest of the thing.
You say how that works for the rest of the review.
But you know what?
You can do that.
And that's fine by me, because you're affecting the accent.
I thought she did fine with it.
She was...
It wasn't like one of my favorite comedy bits of Craig Ferguson talking about how Sean Connery...
In every film.
I'm a Russian sub-command.
Now I'm a Spaniard.
It's the same thing.
We'll fare one concussion, and stuff like sometimes it just doesn't work.
That would be Will Smith.
Who?
Who?
Will Smith and Concussion.
We have a personal foul.
Oh, for the love.
Don Ford.
Not even close on an actor reference.
Half the distance to the goal.
First down.
The elf of Belair.
Okay.
No, I will say.
The image of Will Ferrell in concussion now will be with me for the rest of the evening.
Okay.
But Will Smith, it's just the concussion.
We'll go ahead, Chad.
Do your thing.
I'm with you.
I love me a good spy movie.
Unfortunately, this wasn't one of them.
Oh, man.
This thing didn't...
I'm gonna let you finish.
Okay.
This thing had no real true identity.
I didn't know what it wanted to be.
Did it want to be a shock fest?
Did it want to be a gore fest?
Did it want to be a serious espionage thriller?
To me, White Knights from 85 was more fast.
And this was about two things.
You have no right to ask me how I feel.
Exactly.
That to me was more intriguing than this film.
Wow.
She never convinced me.
And I love Jennifer Lawrence.
I love her to death.
How you doing?
But I'm not gonna be an apologist.
Boris and Natasha's accents are more convincing than hers.
I thought she was fine.
Thank you.
I'm not saying that you know.
I'm not saying and the Oscar goes to.
I'm just saying.
I thought it was fine.
I just...
I never bought it.
I could never for one second buy it.
All the way through Black Panther just as an example.
I completely bought Chad with bosoms accent.
He convinced me that he was from where he was supposed to be from.
Even though the place doesn't really exist.
But not once did you ever convince me that she was Russian.
She tried.
But she didn't succeed.
See, and I think the other hard part with that one is
is I understand where you're coming from with the accent.
But I never got hung up on it.
I was so drawn in by the fact that it was the slow burn that Rob was talking about
with the building.
And I mentioned it in my review at the clubhousepodcast.com.
Which is our website.
That every scene has a purpose towards the beginning.
And I may be imposing this myself.
But if you look at the opening scene breaks the body.
The second scene breaks the morals.
And it keeps building and building and building.
And I like to interpretation of that.
There is a snowball effect that has to happen.
And one point on the accent.
Is she supposed to be so identifiable as Russian as she travels throughout
or is part of her skill set supposed to be that she immerses to where she is?
That's a fair question.
But there's also, there are details as it pertains to even that.
That there are choices that she makes based on that.
Which I found to be interesting.
I see where you're going with that.
And I, again, I would never discount your assessment because it's yours.
I just didn't see that.
Well, and to me, one of the more critical pieces of it was that there was
not any palpable chemistry between her and Anderton.
That's another thing I just didn't see.
I totally agree with.
There was nothing there.
But to me, I definitely see what you're saying there.
But for me, that was part of it.
Because you knew she was torn between, it's the heart and the head thing.
But she was keeping him at an arm's length.
If for no other reason is to keep the audience going, okay, which way is she going with this?
Oh, no, I'm not even saying as on screen characters.
I'm just saying as actors on camera.
I just, I didn't feel it.
See, and the other part about that was I actually thought, and maybe I'm giving way too much credit without spoiling it.
I felt like she knew the end game going into the real game.
And at that whole time, it was more along the lines of she paced it as far as how close she got to how far away she got.
Because there were times where she was playing drawn away.
And Joel Edderton, not going to lie, at times I thought he still thought he was shooting bright and nobody could see past the makeup anyways.
So he just didn't emote.
I like him.
I like him too.
Go see Warrior.
But I just, no, I'll with you there.
There is a scene as we get into the third act where to me that chemistry was palpable.
And they weren't anywhere nearly close to each other.
And I think, you know, it's seen I'm referring to.
Where they're fairly far apart, but make eye contact.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
And that scene alone, that's where I went, okay, I can kind of see what what her deal is now.
Which is why for me, I felt that all the way up until that point, that was done on purpose.
Yeah, I actually have to concede that one.
To tell you the truth, I forgot about the look in that scene.
And you also have to watch how she interacts with others.
I think ice princess is part of her, the character.
I think, you know, prima ballerina dedicated.
That's all she does.
That's all she eats, sleeps, breathes, does.
And you guys also saw something in that scene that visually that I didn't see.
Yeah.
That apparently there were some VFX issues with that sequence.
I didn't see it.
But again, I'm also the guy that didn't see the horror that everybody put on.
Terry Henry Cavill and Justice League.
Oh.
But again, I also wasn't looking forward either.
So, I mean, is there anything anybody wants to talk about before we put the deal on this?
If we do some final analysis.
Well, and you yourself said that the climax was very anticlimactic.
That it was fairly predictable.
I don't know that I said that.
No, I'm just saying that you weren't really a fan of the way it wrapped up.
It didn't bother me.
I mean, I could see knowing that there's three books in a series.
I can see why they ended it the way they did possibly.
Yeah, I was going to say I'd love to take the hammer on this one,
but I want to throw it out to all of you.
Do you think this movie gets the next two books screen lit as movies?
Depends how much money it makes.
Depends on the box office take.
Depends on the take.
I don't even know if I know.
I don't think it'll make that much to Joe.
Probably not.
I don't know.
It wants some of the rumors.
I think it'll have a strong opening weekend, I think.
But because there's been so much hype around this film.
I mean, it's been everywhere for the last month.
And you're looking at a $69 million budget.
So, it doesn't really have to do much to make money.
But that's not going to happen.
Which surprises me that the budget's that low.
I don't think it's going to make hunger games.
Well, it depends also on a Florence of one return.
Yeah, but you know why it's not going to make that kind of,
it's not going to make hunger games money.
It's you're talking number one target audience.
Yeah, big number two, you're talking rating.
Yeah.
Oh, no, no.
That's why I'm saying it won't make hunger games money
because it's a totally different.
It depends if they, if the cast wants to come back too.
Because let's say Jennifer Lawrence doesn't need all of them.
Well, okay, let's say Jennifer Lawrence says no, I don't want to do it.
Well, then that's not going to happen.
Like if she doesn't want to do it, then you don't do it.
Yeah.
But...
I did get a kick on all the, on the two Star Wars connections
that were in this thing though.
Mm-hmm.
Edgerton for number one and his boss.
You realize who that was?
The, the lady?
No.
Bill Camp.
No, the, the, the, the guy that everybody entered to.
The older, the older black woman.
Mm-hmm.
That was Captain Pinocca.
That's you Korshi.
Nice.
All right, anything else?
All right, let's go through the final analysis.
The way we do the final analysis on the show, we're not going to give you thumbs up, thumbs down.
We're not going to give you letter grades, numbers.
We're not going to give you mousse and squirrel.
Nothing like that.
We're going to ask up to two questions.
Question number one is, would we see this film again?
If the answers know them, we're done here.
But if the answer is yes, then how far are we willing to go to see it again?
And that's going to gauge your our enjoyment of it.
So from the best of the best of the worst of the best, here's how we roll.
Full price of the theater.
I know they're releasing this in IMAX in some places.
Twilight, Matt Nay, early morning on a weekend.
Second run, leaving your house to get it from Redbox, streaming it on Netflix,
or checking it out on cable.
Chabble, start with you.
Would you see this again?
No.
All right. Don, would you see this again?
Yeah.
How far are you willing to go?
I do a Saturday, Matt Nay at best.
Okay.
General.
I would see it again, and I would also say Matt Nay.
All right.
Out.
I would see it.
I'll bump it up a little bit to Twilight.
The only reason I'm going to say Matt Nay on this is because of the length.
I felt that if I've got to give a criticism here, I felt that a movie that's just as long
as another film we've seen this year, Den of Thieves.
I think Den of Thieves used 220 better than Red Sparrow does, but it still didn't like...
I still wasn't like where's the chase and how can we cut to it.
It was just used better.
See, and despite some extreme discomfort for not knowing what I was getting into at certain points,
and I think we're all in that boat, I think I'd have to see it later than Matt Nay,
because it's like the sun's still out, and I'm looking at some of this.
Yeah, it's fair.
It is.
Jennifer Lawrence directed by Francis Lawrence, no relation.
Red Sparrow.
For when it's whole thing?
Yes, sir.
Ready to sing?
I am.
Got to take Josh and everybody out.
And I lied in a greater mark getting some of our favorite people in the world that help us get to see movies early.
So that you can make the best decision possible for your entertainment dollar.
Let's do the plugs.
Visit our website.
We might have said it once or twice.
www.theclubhousepodcast.com.
Find out everything you need to know and some stuff you don't.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter is at ClubhouseShow.
Everything else is at the Clubhouse Podcast.
All three words in that order, or you will wind up somewhere else.
You can follow me on social media if you would like.
Everything is yes to that Rob Irvin that has spelled ERVIN.
I am Matt Chad, NPG69.
And Jen Rome, home on Instagram.
I am Vexploit on all social media.
And you can see our reviews at the clubhousepodcast.com.
Come on, don't go on Twitter.
Two A's of getting three O's at the end.
He also emailed me at Don at the clubhousepodcast.com.
Email Don for information on how we can come to a live show.
We love doing live remote show broadcasts and hanging out with the Empire.
You can email me questions, comments, concerns, somebody to go a pound sand.
I'm Rob at theclubhousepodcast.com.
I am Chad at theclubhousepodcast.com.
Charlotte Parker is on Pinterest because we're morally obligated to say that.
Jules Womack showing it to Heazy as is the fabulous way of forward and sensational shani.
Our normal show every Sunday night, 70s, during four Pacific,
is your one stop shop for all things pop culture.
Or just keep subscribing on your favorite podcast app.
You get all the cool stuff like this.
So for the whole crew and the Empire, I'm Rob.
Clubhouse is closed. Are you kidding me, Brittany Palmer?
Yeah, you could have her in this.