iTunes Exclusive Episode Pirates Of The Caribbean Dead Men Tell No Tales

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At least once in your lifetime, you have listened to the Clubhouse podcast, your one-stop
shop for all things, pop culture, live every Sunday, night, 7 Eastern, 4 Pacific.
But it means you also listen to this show on your favorite podcast app because it is time
for another eye-toe explosion.
Number 291 We are now single digits from a major milestone.
It's pretty big deal.
Appreciate you being with us.
My name is Rob, I'm the Executive Producer of the Clubhouse podcast and my first
name starts with ARR.
But I'm not alone for this particular episode.
During me across the desk as he tends to do is my co-host and a man who has no ARRs in
his name.
He is Chad.
Welcome, sir.
No, but I have traveled several of the 7 C. That is fair.
Also during this is the official fact checker of this show and a man who is last name
almost ends in an ARR.
You may know him as fond Don Gobe, his mom and name, Don Ford, I'm going to call him
Don Ford.
I can pirates are so mean.
Biggest ARR.
You do this coming.
There it is.
There he is.
Every time we do one of these it is to review something and this is no difference.
Can we review that joke?
No.
At least it's clean today.
We are here to review the fifth installment in the Pirates of the Caribbean or Caribbean,
not going to judge you out or leave whichever way you pronounce it.
It is called Dead Men Tell No Tales, but we start this whole thing.
Yes, sir.
We got to think Susan Jenner, everybody.
It's Susan Jacobs, Disney.
Big fans.
Thanks for the invite.
They're so good to us that they offered two different screenings that way we could get
all three of us could get to one of them.
And we sat and I'm actually 3D.
All 3 of us did in different theaters.
You and I went one night, Chad went a different night.
Directed by Joaquim Raining.
I don't know what that little owes if that's a Raining or Roning.
I guess it's an O.
It's probably Raining.
Raining.
And then they say the nice moment of the word moose in Holy Grail.
And they put the arrow for the men.
It was a long O because I was maybe some Raining.
And Espen Sandberg.
Direct Jeff Nathanson's screenplay.
Let me just say this up front.
If you go to IMDB, all three of these individuals are attached to the sixth film.
That's all I'm saying.
So this go round.
We are dealing with Will Turner's son who has committed his life.
His name is Henry.
He has committed his life to freeing his father from the curse of being on the flying
Dutchman.
And that's from the third film?
Yes.
Okay.
So what he finds out is he has to find the map that cannot be read.
That will lead him to the Triden of Poseidon.
See, they're a poet and they didn't know it, but their features show it because they're
long fellows.
He thought my joke was bad.
So he winds up getting involved with Karina Smith played by Kaya Skoda Lario.
That's what I'm going with.
And I apologize, Professor.
From the Bayes runner.
She's the lady.
She's from the Bayes runner.
And they are going to team up together because she has her own reasons for wanting to
find the Triden because it fulfills something that her father instilled in her when she was
little.
And of course, you get involved with Captain Jack Sparrow played by the Johnny Depp.
Now all the while, this is going on.
You have a ghost captain by the name of Captain Thalazar played by the great Havier Bardem.
Havia.
Choose it.
Call it.
Who is got his own beef with Captain Jack Sparrow.
And you're also going to get Jeffrey Rush involved again because you got to have Barbosa
involved in this whole thing.
There's a lot going on here.
Bottom of in parts.
This is the shortest film in the series at two hours and six minutes.
This is also the first film that we say in seven years since the fourth part.
All right.
Six or seven years.
It's the long.
It's been the longest gap.
But the franchise has now been around kids that were born when the first one came out.
They're getting ready to go to high school.
Yeah.
So let me give you.
We'll put that historic context in on.
Wrap your head around that for a second.
I have never been a huge fan of this series.
Okay.
On-straged.
Stranger Tides came out 2011.
Okay.
So it's been six years.
Okay.
But every time one of these films comes out, yes.
I end up going and I have enjoyed myself.
So going into this one, same way.
Mike, you know what?
It's a thing.
I'll go check it out.
It's a summer movie.
I enjoy Johnny Deft's portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow.
How did great.
It'll be all right.
By the time the credits rolled on this and make no mistake, there is an extra scene
after the credits.
So if you leave early, it's on you.
I really enjoyed this film.
I had a lot of fun with this movie.
Well of me, if you go to my written review at www.combastplacast.com, also known as our website,
a button there.
I really enjoyed the visuals.
Oh, visually this movie.
Especially since we got to screen this in IMAX 3D.
Now, I put on there.
I don't know if it's worth the extra cost for 3D.
There are a few scenes where I think it didn't enhance it.
I haven't had a 3D in there.
And we're not complaining about seeing it, you know, but not at all.
But some of those underwater shots like they're known for, you're going to get that.
This film, I'm going to put down that it's going to be kind of, you know what you're going to get.
You're going to get it.
Here you go.
It's not good.
It's not the best one.
But I don't think it's the worst one.
It's there.
And there's going to be that question.
Now there's five of them already.
And there will be a six differently.
Yeah.
And minus four, the three two don't say the one that left it open.
Karen up.
So there could be another one.
And no one, how much money they make on each of these.
Why not if they get Johnny Depp and all them in there?
But the question is starting to come just like we talked about on the ice.
Something that you're quite, you talk about quite a bit when it comes to these.
Right.
Ice age, even alien.
Even now guardians of the galaxy since you're going to be new third.
Should they.
Okay.
You know what I'm saying.
And I think they can is a start to suffer because now we're up to five of these things.
But you know what you're, you're going to get what you know from these things.
Some great visuals, some great underwater shots.
But here's what I think about these pirates things.
Sometimes they get too complicated where this person double crosses.
This person or this person wants to, you know, help this person.
Now you speed my enemy and it gets complicated.
I'm who's going to decide what is my friend.
Yeah.
And in plus he's now my enemy.
And now he's my friend again.
And all that.
So it gets kind of complicated.
And who's inside with who.
So that kind of loses me a little.
Second, you know, really complicated James Bond film on who's who's with who.
And see, that didn't bother me so much.
Yeah.
I mean, it wasn't bad in this one.
Some other ones have been bad.
For me, it's, you know what you're going to get.
We got it.
I thought this was fun visually beautiful.
I'll give that a heartbeat.
That was visually.
Oh, yeah.
It depved you know what you can get with the main stay characters.
You can't get the same.
You get what you have gotten in the last four films.
No, I mean, the weird thing for me was.
I couldn't find a place in this where I felt it was okay to go to the bathroom.
Because there was a lot going on.
Luckily it went by really fast.
But I was like, oh, and all this thing's going to happen.
Okay.
Maybe I can't go now.
Because this thing's going to happen.
Seeing in the eye of Max, I thought the sound field was gorgeous.
Yeah.
I thought it looked beautiful.
Yeah.
I had a lot of fun with it.
And it's about two hours.
I thought it was six, I think.
Yeah, a little over two hours.
And of course, there's a take at the end.
But there's, I thought it flowed well considering.
And I'm thinking it was too long.
Maybe a couple minutes long.
But that one didn't really bug me.
So the pot pot got a little complicated and not bad.
So it's what I expected and I got it.
What's just frightening you right now is that there's a third person in the room.
Yes.
He's waiting.
He's waiting.
He's been so much like, much like Don laid out for a good chunk of alien
Covenant.
Chad has been laying out for a good chunk of this.
We're ready.
Are you ready?
Let me go out.
Oh, I've already read his review.
Currently located at www dot the clubhouse podcast.com.
Which again is our website?
I know what's coming.
So do I.
That's let them have the floor.
Sir.
When this series first started back in O3, right?
Yes, sir.
Yeah.
I absolutely loved it.
It was such a surprise that a film based on a ride of all things at a Disney park
could make such an enjoyable film.
And depth was instead of the other way around.
And and depth got a freaking Oscar nod for the for his portrayal of Jack Sparrow on that first.
Keep you know, keep you know, keep rolling that over in your mind.
Best supporting actor because he was not the lead role in that film.
He was never intended to be the lead role.
But of course, he gets thrusted to the forefront as the series progress.
Because he's done because he was supposed to be the lead.
Orlando Bloom, more or less.
Okay.
Now, as the series has progressed, I've been there front and center for everyone of these.
You have been.
And they've gotten progressively.
Less interesting.
Because some of the script elements that they work into this thing just don't quite
work within the context of the story that they're trying to do.
Does it borderline on wrestling logic kind of?
Okay.
It actually it more borders on Michael Bay transformerism.
Ooh, I don't know if I go that far.
Because they are relying so heavily on over the top CG.
And they're not putting as much thought into the script because they know the visuals
are going to carry this thing.
And Johnny Depp's performance is going to carry this thing.
By the time we get to where we are now,
Depp looks like he'd rather be somewhere else.
See, I didn't see that.
He's admitted that openly.
I can kind of see that in this film.
I'll give you that.
I will give you that.
That he is literally just doing this for the paycheck.
I just kind of saw it as part of the character.
Well, I mean, because I really watched the third one again,
because to me that was the weakest of the series.
And I know people hated the fourth one.
Well, a lot of people are saying that the fourth one is the season of the Witch of the series.
Because it doesn't have much to do with the Kim storyline.
Well, because Will Turner and Elizabeth Swan were nowhere inside.
They went with two different.
Well, the fourth one that became like the Alien Resurrection of the series.
I see, I actually enjoyed the fourth one because it felt like a new take on things.
Okay.
Because Ian McShane, or you kidding me?
Yeah, I know that.
You're saying for a reference.
Yeah, I know you are.
But, you know, having Ian McShane being part of the mix,
added a whole new level of cool to it, in my opinion,
because, you know, like you've often...
Without all the cursing today.
Just over there, which I know was kind of tough for him.
But just adding that dynamic of Blackbeard, a mythical pirate that everybody's familiar with
with this, you know, mysterious sword that can do mysterious things.
And then you've got the dynamic of, is she or isn't she Blackbeard's daughter,
and the whole banter back and forth with crew.
The penalty crews and Johnny Depp being there.
It was almost like a tango thrown into the middle of all this intrigue.
Okay.
And it spiced things up a little bit.
And I know that it hit people sideways because it took Turner and Swan out of the mix.
To me, I was ready for the relief personally.
But, well, Orlando Bloom has referred to this film on IMDB,
and with a term that I've never heard before, and I get it, the soft reboot.
The soft reboot.
Right.
And I don't know exactly how honest that is, but...
It's also a fair assessment.
He also said he also swore both of them, both he and Kieran Knightly,
kind of swore that they wouldn't come back.
We won't either confirm nor deny either way.
Right.
I mean, we've already mentioned one of them because it's kind of central to the plot.
Well, you see...
But we all either confirm nor deny either way.
You see Orlando Bloom in the trailer, so it's kind of obvious.
But just for the simple fact that Depp just looks like he'd rather be someplace else,
doing something, anything other than playing this character again,
even though it's...
But it's still his choice.
It is his choice, but it's also his choice to get paid a big fat chunk of money.
I think it works into the character.
This didn't bother me at all.
I really had fun with this film.
Well, and you know, the other downside to me is that as entertaining as in McShane was to watch
in the last one, they didn't really give Havier a much to do.
Well, I think part of that's because of the nature of the character,
because if he was on set, he was in Green Suit the whole time.
Yeah.
Because the nature of his character is, and he's basically a ghost.
Yeah.
He's a lot of swirling in slow motion and stuff.
Yeah.
He's such a foreboding presence in any film that he's in, reference skyfall,
reference the one you mentioned earlier, no control man.
Call it friend, though.
You know, he can creep you out just with a stare.
You don't have to say anything, but when he does say something,
unfortunately in this film, you couldn't understand what he said.
So when they put, tell the flashback tail, and I'm going to say this,
Disney is now just showing off with the reverse aging.
It's a de-aging process.
Yeah.
My goodness.
And especially if you see the kid that played him before they put them,
the de-aging on him for Johnny Depp.
It's nothing like it.
Yeah.
But I recognized in the flashback sequence, the guy that was playing the guy with the
eye patch, and I couldn't find him in the credits.
And I couldn't figure out who it was.
Hmm.
I'm like, I recognize this dude.
I can't place him.
I haven't been able to find him in the credits.
So somebody that's I'm sure somebody out there will figure it out and send an email
to rob at the clubhousepodcast.com.
No, that's our website.
No, that's our website.
This is email.
It's good that I'm done's paying attention during the show.
I'm trying to get it in.
Now, here's my question to you.
Am I in a spoiler three, two?
Don't talk in general with these.
I'm going to tell you if you can go.
Okay.
At the end, something's supposed to happen.
Okay.
Yes.
Don't.
Don't.
Okay.
Because you're talking about the post credit sequence.
And we can't.
I don't want to ruin that for people.
I want them to take their own conclusions from.
Because I'm not going to say anything.
I'll accept me and chat talked about.
Yeah.
You can talk to them.
But I don't want to discuss that with some people that I work with.
And there is no logic to it.
I know exactly what you're saying.
And there is no logic to it.
But that's why there's going to be a sixth film.
That's just, that just is what you need.
I just want to say there was no logic to the take.
No.
I agree with you.
I mean, it's kind of being touted as the finale.
I've read on more than one.
Did they say that about the last one?
No.
I don't know if they ever really came around.
I have been told that it's been said before.
Well, maybe so.
But I mean, I'd never read that about on Stranger Tides.
Maybe it was the third one there.
But I definitely read it about this one.
But they're saying this was supposed to be putting a bow on the old.
And you can see you can see how there might be a passing of a torch, possibly.
Yeah.
Which was still done better than Crystal Skull.
You got to give me that.
Oh, I won't debate you on that at all.
But I mean, I just enjoyed this film for what it was.
It was an action film.
It was an adventure film.
There's a great cameo right in the middle of it.
And if you don't know, I'm telling you.
Which was really, that was a fun little exchange.
Yeah.
There's some really great exchange.
Pay attention to what's going on in the background.
Yes.
Yes.
Right past you.
Well, because I was looking for it.
It's still breeze past me.
I just, I really enjoyed this film.
Am I saying it's my favorite film of the year?
Not at all.
It bumps me out that it didn't do for me what I was hoping it was going to do for me.
Is it better than song this song?
Absolutely.
I have no idea.
That's the this year's turn.
That's not what I was.
Oh.
Okay.
Sorry for that.
I had a lot of fun with this.
And I know you're going to be a lot more critical than I given the nature of the beast.
I get that.
I just enjoyed this film for what it was.
Okay.
I got one for Chad.
Should they have made it?
Is it going to make them a boat look part of the pun?
Oh my god.
I can't believe it.
Is this going to make them a ton of cash?
Absolutely.
That's why they're doing this.
Yeah.
That's why they are going to continue to do this.
Disney doesn't do Disney doesn't believe in calculating risk.
No.
No.
Some would debate that.
But if you look over the, you know, on the whole Disney,
they know what they're giving in.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, we're talking about a
You also have to remember that these are the people that openly admitted that
Cars 2 is nothing more than a cash grab.
That you're not.
But I'll need to see it because they're what's coming.
I doubt that you will.
Because I don't think it's going to have anything to do with what's going to come in the third film.
I'm actually looking forward to the third film because I'm hoping that they're going to
make a huge wrong.
Right.
What would you have done different if you're the director?
You're the man who isn't controlled Disney on this film specifically.
Real back some of the CG take.
Take so much of the supernatural elements out of it.
Just a little bit.
And you speak about that.
There is one character as it pertains to at that.
I thought was completely wasted.
Which one the which.
Which one.
No.
The one that's actually a witch.
Yeah.
They again, you know, you were in it for like three minutes and you really added nothing.
Yeah.
There's other ways that we could have gotten to where we were than what you did.
I'll give you that.
Which basically like how many of these have you seen that you can.
Specifically.
You know, I can't recall because it's been so long.
I can neither confirm nor deny.
I want to say I have seen the fourth one, but I can't say for sure.
Okay.
But no.
I've seen the first three.
Okay.
So I don't want to have any McShane and had the mermaid.
Yeah.
We talked about that earlier too.
I know.
But I think that you you had the character of Tia Dalma.
That was so integral to two and three.
She was a David Jones's ex girlfriend.
She was a lip soap.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Her being that powerful witch character that was crucial to that plot.
And then you have a witch here.
Like you said, just like, can you do this?
Yeah.
Can you do this?
No.
Okay.
Well, we're done with you.
And that was it.
You know, I'm just like, but no.
It was actually.
Can you do this?
Yes.
Okay.
Here's what I did for you.
Sorry.
It just didn't it didn't that was weird to me.
Yeah.
But it didn't take me out of it.
There were too many characters that they more or less just kind of glossed over.
We really didn't know all that much about them.
And you know, we really didn't care whenever they just kind of disappeared.
You know, and that's it's bad character development.
I know that they went through two different scripts before they settled on this one.
I'm like, if that's the case, how bad were there's other two scripts?
I was like, I enjoyed it.
Well, I know you had one of your original screenwriters on board originally.
The writing team of Rossio and I can't remember the other guys name, but they parted ways.
And I think Rossio submitted a script on his own and it got rejected.
But it just, it just kind of bums me out that it just, you could tell that they're different.
That they're different.
Well, your characters are original work here.
Jay Walpert Stewart, Stewart, Beatty, Terry Rossio and Ted Elliott.
Rossio, what is credited with story by as well as Nathanson.
And really, if you look at Nathanson's trek to this, I don't know if you looked him up.
No.
I looked up the directors and I saw that they did that antiquey film.
He did crystal skull.
That explains a couple of things.
But he also did the terminal.
He did catch me if you can.
He did the first two.
He did rush hours two and three.
But he also did the sequel to speed.
So there's peaks and there's values.
I mean, I wish that we could get Kurt Smith and Ortsy involved again.
You know, because those are the guys that kind of got the ball rolling.
And they also got the Transformers ball rolling when it was watchable.
So, I mean, anything else you need to add for get the final analysis?
No, just, it just, it hurts me that this, it really pains me to give this review.
Because I was really looking forward to it.
But people want to, on its opinions, we're going to give them our honest opinions.
I mean, that's what, that's what this thing is based on.
It's just true.
All right, do we do the final analysis on this show?
We're not going to give you a thumbs up thumbs down.
We're not going to give you yo ho and a bunch of bottles of rum.
We're not going to give you anything like that.
Two questions are involved here.
Question number one is, would you see this again?
That the answer is no, we're done here.
If the answer is yes, then how far are you willing to go to see it?
From top to bottom, the best to the worst of the best.
Full price in the theater, which will include IMAX 3D as a different level there.
Twilight, daytime, early morning, second run at the, at the dollar theater.
Actually, leaving your house to go to Red Box, streaming it through Netflix or waiting for a table.
Don't let's start with you.
Would you see this again?
Uh, yeah, that's, that's a definite.
All right.
How far you want to go?
It's, what, like I said, what you're going to expect.
It wasn't really surprises.
It's the same in that kind of genre.
Uh, I don't think the 3D was worth it.
Maybe you guys want to bring that in or not.
But, um, I don't think it's worth it.
It was great to see it.
I don't think it's worth it.
Just say like you've made afternoon showing on a weekend.
All right.
Chad.
I'm sure I probably will eventually as, as part of a marathon viewing, but I would not go
out my way to check it out again.
No.
So you're down the cable.
I'm down the cable.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's, it's, it's a jar of dirt.
Do you think that 3D is worth the extra cost?
No.
Okay.
I would see this again.
I don't know that the 3D's worth the cost.
If you want to do it, I'm not going to judge you outwardly.
I would go matinee on this.
I would, I would, I think this would be fun to see in a theater for people.
But if you have a decent home theater and you wanted to wait, I wouldn't bother me either.
But again, I enjoy this.
I had fun with it.
It is.
Pirate to the Caribbean.
Dead men tell no tales.
For wraps and stuff.
Again, we got to think Susan.
Jenna.
Everybody.
Susan.
And to those guys.
Thank you guys so much for giving us the opportunity to see this.
Let's do the plugs.
Visit our website.
We've talked about it a little bit a little bit.
It is www.theclubhousepodcast.com.
Find out everything you need to know with some stuff you don't.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter is at Clubhouse Show.
Everything else is the Clubhouse podcast.
All three words in that order are you will wind up somewhere else.
You can follow me on social media.
Everything is yes.
That Rob Irvin that is spelled ERV-I-N.
I am at Chad N.P.G.69 on Twitter.
I'm at Fondongo.
And you can email me at Don at the Clubhousepodcast.com.
Email Don for information on how we can come to a live show.
You love doing live remote shows and hanging out with the Empire.
You can email me.
Questions, comments, concerns.
So many go to poundstand.
I am Rob at The Clubhousepodcast.com.
I am Chad at The Clubhousepodcast.com.
Charlotte Parker is on Pinterest because we're morally obligated to say that.
And Jill's one would probably be chilling at the house.
I'm so much so much she isn't eating.
All right.
Our normal show every Sunday night.
Seven Easter and four Pacific is your one stop shop for all things pop culture.
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So until next time for Don for Chad and for the Empire,
I'm Rob.
Clubhouse is close.
Are you kidding me?
Brittany Palmer?
Pirate outfit?
Maybe she works in the tavern.
You don't know.
I mean, I should really be able to pay for all these great ideas I'm giving you.