iTunes Exclusive Episode On Chesil Beach

If you are hearing the sound of my voice right now, it means the following conditions have
been met.
At least once in your life, you have checked out the Clubhouse podcast Live every Sunday
night, seven Eastern for Pacific, you are one stop shop for all things pop culture.
It also means you've checked this out on your favorite podcast app because it is time
for another 10 exclusive number 384 for those of you playing the home game welcome.
My name is Rob, I am the executive producer of the Clubhouse podcast and I don't sound
like I'm from London, but I'm not alone because that would just be a bad idea.
Sitting in the co-host chair tonight is the newest member of the cast and a man that
knows that Margate Florida has a sister city called Margate England because we grew up
in that area.
We know.
He's Alex, welcome, sir.
Sometimes your insurers are just golden, they really are, I can't bury bonds at every
time.
Also joining us is the official fact checker of this show and a man who refused to get
up early and watched the royal wedding and we respect that.
You may know him as fond, don't go, but as mom and even don't ford, I'm going to call
him don't ford.
Welcome, sir.
I told you they wanted me to play the viola on the wedding and then I had the new job
and I'll, yeah, it's all right.
Got priorities.
Yeah, I know.
Whatever we do, one of these, it is to review something and this is no exception.
Today we're going to review for you a new film and one of those cases where the guy that
wrote the book also wrote the screenplay as Ian McEwen, let's dominant cook direct on
Chessel Beach.
For sure, this whole thing?
Yes, sir.
We got thank Julian Airbay at Slypox.
Zee Nini.
Zee Nini.
We love our vendors.
They let us see movies early so we can talk to you about them.
Well, in this case, I can talk to you about them because I'm the only one that saw this.
We have, we're proud of you for that one, I bet you are.
Here's what you need to know.
This is about a young couple's wedding night in 1962.
He is played by Billy Howell.
She played by Cersher Ronan, thank you, I have a problem like I'm still having difficulty
saying her name and I don't want to screw it up like Benedict Cumberbatch and Penguins.
So it's their wedding night, it's 1962 Britain and things go horribly wrong and not in a
wacky teenage romp kind of way.
Let's just put this out there, this is not the feel good movie of the year.
So what you're saying is, if you feel like you're in too good of a mood, this might be the
one.
This will take care of that for you.
Yeah, this will go ahead and just wreck that for you.
Most of it is told in flashback, which I'm, you guys know I'm not a big fan of that
to begin with, to me it ruined Carlitos way.
This is an hour 50, and let me just say that again, this is an hour 50 and most of
it's the two of them.
He comes from a background where his, his mom is dealing with a traumatic brain injury.
She is, he's come, they come from different sides of the tracks, he's more working class,
she's more upper class, but she rebels against her parents because they're kind of bourgeois,
Emily Watson plays her mom, very small role, but I'm a big fan of the Emily Watson.
That's fantastic.
In my written review, currently located at www.theclubhousepodcast.com, that's our website.
I use a phrase that in over 20 years of reviewing films on and off, I don't know that I've
ever used before, and it's the only way that I can describe this film.
It's very British, and it's very 1962 British.
So what you're saying is, it's incredibly dry and dated.
That might be generous.
Wow.
I can't say this is a bad film, let me just put that, it's not a bad film.
Well anything with the searcher Ronan has at least some bum.
It's beautifully shot.
It wants to be one of those stories that it's going to give you a little piece here and
a little piece there, and you're going to get to, by the end of it, you're going to have
the full picture.
I kind of had it about 30 minutes in, like I kind of know where this is going, so can we
just get there and then I can go home or, no, no, no, I'm an hour and a half to go, I'm
sorry.
All right, watch, gauge, 15 minutes, oh lord, actually no, I'll be honest.
It was 30, but I knew it was 30, if that makes any sense.
Like I'd die go, I go, if I'm going to look at my watch, it's going to be 30 minutes.
So I knew where 15 minutes was.
So you wanted to look earlier and then you just held on.
I did on purpose, but it would have been 15 minutes if I had looked at what I wanted
to look.
It's slow.
Again, it's, in a world where Terrence Malik still gets work, it won't be the worst
film of the year, assuming he releases something this year, and I can tell you right now, it's
not my least favorite film of the year.
It's not at the bottom of my list.
I can see it from there, but it's not at the bottom of my list.
Is there a good chance to make that list?
It's got a chance at the bottom 10, yes, it's got a straw, it's a strong contender, but
it won't be at the bottom of the list, I can guarantee you that.
It's just so British, like it's so British that my wife who just walked through the house,
my wife loves Downton Abbey.
She loves it, loves everything about it.
My wife would see this movie and go way too British.
Really?
So on a, that's how British this movie is so on a scale of Monty Python to Downton Abbey,
or would you put it?
I would, like I can't deal with Downton Abbey, it's, it's too British for me, this is more
British.
Like it's to the point where you're just like on a certain level, you feel bad for, for
a couple of the characters, and I don't want to say who and how, but then the others
are like, I don't feel bad for you.
Is it like Betty Hill, English, in Bizarre World?
Yes.
So it's just Yacke and he said, I wouldn't even, it's just so, it's just so British.
Like, okay, wait, wait, wait, I need to, I need to pump the brakes here.
I know this is an auditory medium.
I want the audience to know how pained you love talking about this because it's, it's
such a weird dichotomy because there's some very dark subject matter in this.
I will tell you that up front.
If you bring the kids, remember this is rated R and there will question, you will have
to answer.
But it's just, like this would be better served as a stage production, first of all.
As many, you know, like this would be a decent, if you did this as a stage production, you'd
have to have a pretty good sized cast because it deals with them at different points in
their lives.
But I was just, there was so much of me that was just, because it's already, it had already
been a long day, but I've said, and I can't say these things and not practice these things,
we don't just get to see the movies we want to see, sometimes we have to see the other,
and sometimes the film surprises us.
Yes.
But we have to support our vendors and I had no problem doing it because we love our
vendors so much they do such great things for us.
This was a long hour 50.
It just is and like it's a well told story, but the flashback and all that just killed
you.
Constant flashback.
It's just, it's so slow and so what I, okay, so if I was watching this in the theater
and you've seen my body language in theaters, what are they doing the little, for those
that can't see, I'm going to say this, I'm going to say this, I'm going to say this
because it's the only way I can say this.
I didn't just take one for the team for you, hey, stay with me.
There is no way in God's green earth that you wouldn't have been ready just to go.
I wouldn't have stayed to the credits on this one, huh?
I don't know if you'd have made it to the credits.
I'm, yeah, there's only one film I walked out on and came back in ever and you've got
to give me on that one.
Yeah, I'll give you credit on that, but yeah, this is not, now is, there's going
to be people that are going to be like, oh, the art in it.
This is one of those, it's, it's, it's an art house film.
It's not, but it's not like, it's not breaking, right?
Okay, remember, this is going to be a really weird stretch, but stay with me.
Okay.
Remember when they did the Wayne's World sketch on SNL where they did the dream sequence
with Madonna and everything turned black and white.
It's not that artsy.
Okay, it's not that artsy, but it's definitely not mainstream and it knows it's
not mainstream.
It doesn't try to be mainstream.
It's just like, would you say it goes into being pretentious?
No, that's it.
And that's just a weird thing about this.
Like, again, it's not a bad film.
It's just not a film that if it was playing and we're in the studio and it was playing
in the living room, I would stay in the studio for two hours.
Like, again, not a bad film.
It's just not for me.
So if I was watching that, I'd be like, I have a question here.
There would be a lot of that.
Okay.
Yes.
Okay.
I'm going to give you an angle for this.
Okay.
If you were in college and met a girl in theater or something, is this the kind of thing
you'd take her to to try and make her think you were deep?
God no.
Because I'd never get another date with her.
It just would be like, this is the kind of movie you watch.
I mean, it's, I think that's a fair question.
It's, it's emotionally draining.
Because of the subject matter, it's for an older crowd because of the mind frame that
these people are in.
A lot of younger people would see a film like this and go, yeah, not possible.
But because it's an old school style of film, these are people that certain things aren't
even talked about until the wedding night.
That would be those kind of, those kinds of traditions would be lost on a younger generation
for the most part.
So, how long does this film portray over, it's just like the weekend, really?
It's really over, not even one night.
So this is a real time.
Really?
It's not really real time.
Because of the flash.
But it's pretty dog on close.
It's a story of their wedding night in looking back, boy.
As the wheels fall off.
I mean, let me reach the official IMDb.
This is the official IMDb description, based on Man and McEwen's novel in 1962, England,
a young couple find their idyllic romance colliding with issues of sexual freedom and societal
pressure leading to an awkward and fateful wedding night.
Like you know going in.
You know what?
I may need a drink after this.
You know going in.
So is Dominic Cook as he, like, turns Malta into a star?
He's not, no, it's not.
But see, that's the thing.
It's not a Terry Malta thing.
Yeah.
Like, it's shot well.
It's done well.
It's just not good for me.
Okay.
So what you're saying is there's an audience and it's just not you.
Yeah.
I don't know though there's a big audience on this continent for it.
This is basically the third thing he's directed.
One was the...
Again.
I don't blame it technically.
I mean, it looked gorgeous.
The sound editing's really, really good.
The performances are good.
It's just such a heavy...
I think that's what is...
It's just such a heavy subject matter that it's...
I don't know that it's going to resonate with a mass audience.
I mean, the thing is, he did that the Crown TV series.
Mm-hmm.
Which my wife is a big fan of.
No, no.
He did the hollow crown.
Oh, that's not the crown.
Okay.
The hollow crown.
Sorry.
And one other thing he directed, which is kind of minor, but...
So my thing is he does a long TV series.
Now he's going to a film.
But again, I don't fault the direction.
I don't fault the direction.
It looks great.
It's not great.
The performances are great.
It's just too heavy.
Yeah.
It's too heavy of a story.
Okay.
I want to give you credit for...
I just did a quick background search on the guy.
Almost his entire career and a good size career has been theater.
So the reason it felt like theater was probably that's what he had been doing.
Well, but even the subject matter could be done on the stages.
Right.
Any other questions for me to get the final analysis on this?
No.
All right.
Do I even do the final analysis on this show?
We're not going to give you thumbs up, thumbs down.
We're not going to give you letter grades, numbers, skipping stones, anything like that.
Two questions.
What I see this film again, the answer is no, we're done here.
That's probably what's going to happen.
But if I say yes, here's the range from the best of the best of the worst of the best.
Full price of the theater, down to a twilight showing, down to a matinee showing, down to
second run at the dollar theater, down to actually leaving the house to go to Red Box,
down to streaming on Netflix, down to cable.
Rob.
Requiring lines, want to know, of course they do.
Would you see this film again?
Absolutely not.
That's okay.
Well, I mean, again, it's just so heavy, like, like Alex said earlier, if you're in a
great mood, it'll fix that.
But you know what?
We give our honest opinions because that's what our vendors ask of us, and we appreciate
that.
It is on Chessel Beach.
Forward's hoping.
Uh-huh.
Even though it's not their fault, we got to think Julie, nearby, it's Sly Fox.
Zing-a-me, Zing-a-me, Zing-a-me, Zing-a-me.
We love our vendors so much, and we love that they ask our honest opinions.
That's what makes this thing work.
Thank you guys so much for giving us the opportunity to see movies and stuff before they come
out so we can talk to the Empire and help them make their best possible decision for their
entertainment dollar.
Let's do the plugs.
Visit our website where you can find my written review, and I go a little bit deeper
in there.
It's www.theclubhousepodcast.com.
Follow us on social media.
Twitter is at ClubhouseShow.
Everything else is at the Clubhouse Podcast.
All three words in that order are you will wind up somewhere different.
You can follow me on social media if you'd like.
Everything is yes, that Rob Irvin, that's spelled E-R-V-I-N.
My normal co-host for this is Chad Womack.
You can follow him at ChadNPG69.
I am Vexplod on all social media, and remember those written reviews are at vclubhousepodcast.com.
And I'm on Twitter at Fawn, Dongo, two ways of getting threeos at the end, and also you
can email me at Don at theclubhousepodcast.com.
Email Don for information on how we can come do a live show for you.
We love doing live remote shows and hanging out with the Empire.
You can email me, questions, comments, concerns, tell me to go pound sand.
I am Rob at theclubhousepodcast.com.
Chad is Chad at theclubhousepodcast.com.
Charlotte Parker is on Pinterest because we're morally obligated to say that.
Jules Womack, she's not feeling very well.
We hope she's feeling better.
She's hanging out with Chad.
Faith forward waiting on her husband to get home.
Our normal show every Sunday night, 7 Eastern 4 Pacific, is your one stop shop for all things
pop culture.
Or just keep subscribing on your favorite podcast app, and you get all the cool stuff like
this.
So until next time, for Don, for Alex and the Empire, I'm Rob, clubhouse is closed, and
there is a debate whether Brittany Palmer could say this thing.
I mean, we could debate that.