iTunes Exclusive Episode Gods Of Egypt

The following is a sooner orgator production.
The following is a sooner orgator production.
If you're hearing the sound of my voice, it means the following conditions have been met.
It means at least once in your life you have listened to the clubhouse podcast live every Sunday,
night, seven Eastern, four Pacific, your one-stop shop for all things sports and entertainment.
But it also means you subscribe on iTunes, because it's time for another iTunes exclusive.
The 190 first one of these things that we do.
Welcome, my name is Rob, I am the executive producer of the clubhouse podcast.
And I am neither a god nor a gypsum.
But I'm not alone for this particular episode, also joining me is my co-host.
And a man who has at least been to Egypt once in his life.
He is Chad, welcome sir.
One sin only once, and I have to tell you, this may be one of my favorite musical
intro to an iTunes exclusive we've ever done.
It's one of the great songs of our time.
I love this too.
You can't do this and not at least try to do the robot, it's just not possible.
I'm looking for the large piece of cardboard on the floor to do a backspin on, you break
something, you wouldn't break dance, you'd break something, and I'd be right in that
boat with you.
I'd be break hip band, break hip band, break hip band.
Whenever we do one of these, it is to review something, this is no exception.
Mr. Alex Proyus is back, really, yes he is.
The man who directed movies like The Crow, one of my personal favorites, knowing, really
not.
I robot and dark city, which very polarizing that film, because I'm not a huge fan, but
friend of the different show Jim Briggle and I kind of went around the horn a little bit.
The other day talking about dark city, that film has its fans, to me it's just
a key for just got him on nerves and that film.
Alright, so his new film is called Gods of Egypt, as you might have figured out by now.
This thing's got a cast, sir.
If I gave you names like Nicolage Coastor Walledow, that would be a Lannister.
That would be a Jamie Lannister, thank you very much.
Or maybe I say Brian Brown to you.
Oh, FX, maybe I say Gerard Butler to you.
Maybe I say Chadwick Boseman to you, you're kidding me.
Maybe I say Rufus Suhl to you.
Good Lord, I think he was in dark city if I'm not mistaken.
What if I'm in Sonya, or Jeffrey Rush, maybe I say that name to you, what?
Wow.
Maybe I say the name Elodie Young to you.
Okay, there you've got, you're going to know her here in about two weeks, because she
is a lecture in season two of Daredevil, okay.
So here's the deal.
By the way, I want to thank our friends at Maroc for letting us see this film along
with fans at Summit Entertainment.
Julie did a great job promoting this the other night when we wouldn't saw it.
But to see it in IMAX 3D, always an enjoyable experience, always a plus.
It is ancient Egypt.
God's live among us, like Horace, H-O-R-U-S, played by Jamie Lannister, who's about to
be crowned the new King of Egypt by his father Osiris, Brian Brown.
Because the coronation is going on and all the gods are gathering, Osiris's brother
shows up named Set, played by Gerard Butler.
And if you know the thing or two about Egyptian mythology, set is really not a very nice
thing.
This does not go well.
He basically takes out Osiris and claims himself to be King of Egypt.
So they are also both sons of raw, the Sun God.
That is Jeffrey Rush.
Stay with me, okay.
Set removes Horace's eyes because that takes away his powers.
Because he is the symbol of God, like he's a wing to God and they can transform.
Stay with me, okay, struggling.
So Horace goes into exile.
And in the meantime, there is a mortal whose name is Beck without the sea.
He is played by Brenton Fwates, does this name mean anything to you?
He was in Maleficent.
He's going to be in the new Pirate to the Caribbean film.
He was Prince Philip in Maleficent.
Okay.
Okay.
Are you with me now?
Gotcha.
He is a thief.
He lives with his girlfriend.
So he's a loser.
You could say that.
His girlfriend Ziya played by Courtney, I was trying to fight through that.
Courtney Eaton, who you would know from, she was Cheeto the fragile and Mad Max Fury
Road.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Apparently there's a lot of people involved in Mad Max Fury Road that were involved
in this film.
A lot.
We wrap on Mad Max Fury Road.
So on the coronation happens, a set says, because it was more of a peaceful time with
Osiris, where you get into the afterlife by what you do, a set says that's no longer
the case.
I am the god.
I am the king of Egypt.
Now it is based on your wealth.
And if you don't have money, you are now going to be put into enslavement.
So things happen, the young kids get separated.
After, then back decides he's going to return one of Horus' eyes to him.
We're going to get both of them.
He can only find one.
And a scene that's very reminiscent of, let me just say that the way he gets it is very
reminiscent of the way Harrison Ford gets to the room with the Holy Grail in it in
the last crusade.
Okay.
Okay.
So he wants his beloved to return to him.
So Horus makes a medial.
You help me out.
Get me back on the throne.
I can make this happen for you.
Okay.
And here we go.
I have a written review.
It is located at www.theclubhousepodcast.com.
That is our website.
What I've realized.
I don't know if I'm, my reviews are turning into old man Rob or maybe it's because it's
this time of year, it's early in the year.
A lot of the studios dump a lot of their films.
True.
Yeah.
This is true.
Because I feel like I've been really harsh in the last couple of months on films for
the most part outside of Deadpool.
I've realized that the only reason this movie exists is because the asylum exists.
Oh, okay.
For those of you that don't know what the asylum is, it is a film company.
If you've watched sci-fi channel for longer than 20 minutes and that term is very
interesting.
Something that they've created.
They specialize in what could be considered modern B horror films.
They are responsible for the juggernaut known as Sharknado.
But they are also known for making movies that shall we say try to take advantage of
the popularity.
They're knockoffs of more successful films.
Like they did the mighty Thor.
Yeah.
You know.
Then they do transfer more first.
I believe they did things of that things of it's more of theirs.
They tried to avengers grim was one of them and you should see the poster art for
these things.
They are just this side of a lawsuit.
You kind of wonder if at some point Weirdo Yankovic is a stakeholder in this company.
I mean, they'll even use the same font on the dead gump poster.
There's a lot of controversy around this film due to what could be considered a lack
of diversity since it takes place in Egypt.
And it makes me think about a certain family guy cut away of Peter and a jury box.
If you know what I mean, does it also make you think of a certain really Scott film
last year?
That was more diverse than this.
Barely.
From the looks of things.
Barely.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I still don't buy Sigourney.
Weaver isn't it.
That's just I just don't.
And there's a tie in there too because remember when we saw exodus gods and kings, we were
like, she's like not even working in accent.
I give you Gerard Butler.
Yeah.
Like his Scottish accent comes through in a couple of places.
Oh, no.
For you, the Scottish Kevin Costner is he's doing is it is is it flagrantly as obvious
as Sean Connery and Highlander?
It's that's not it's not nearly that cheesy.
But I have to think to myself.
And the visual effects are rough.
That's there's a scene towards the end where Jamie Lynch or I don't want to have to keep
pronouncing his name.
It's his head on his transformed body.
And he has video game walk.
Oh, it okay.
So now I'm having the rock as the scorpion king flashbacks.
I don't know.
My boss said the same thing to me.
Because was this scorpion king bad.
Wow.
That's in front of me.
So Kevin Daniels asked me that same question too.
That is way unfortunate.
Whenever there's fight scenes, there's really quick wrote, uh, I was going to say 360,
but more like a 180 shots.
So it doesn't make you realize how basic some of the effects were.
I will tell you the one a special effects character that it really I thought was cool was
a new bus.
A new bus looked awesome.
The head of the jackal.
Well, the Lord, basically the Lord of the underworld, right?
I'm just saying for people that need a visual right.
And he looks like he looks like a jackal, right?
But you want to know the weirdest thing?
Hmm.
I can't say I hated it.
Really?
I thought you were going to eviscerate this.
I wanted to.
I wanted to really bad.
Because I've seen the trailers that I was like,
is this really a thing?
Yeah.
And nothing about this made me want to see it.
Like, is this really, really a thing?
And I'm sitting there watching it.
And I'm watching.
And you want to choose the most scenery in this deal.
And it's only isn't really in it all that much.
Boseman.
That's kind of the key is so over the top.
He plays out.
I mean, get that pulled out for you.
He plays thoth.
He's like a, a god of wisdom.
Wherever he walks and I can't even do it because I'm not that flexible.
But he's got his arms behind his back and each hand is on an elbow.
Oh, he's doing the Morpheus walk.
And that's how he walks through the whole thing.
This would make an excellent video game.
This movie would make an excellent video game.
Because number one, that's how it looked.
It already is one from what I understand.
Well, there you go.
Yeah.
I think it's, I think it's only available on mobile platforms.
But it is available as a video game.
But it was.
It, it, it sounds like a classic case of.
All subs, all style and no substance.
There was a little bit of substance to it.
There were a couple of moments where it kind of sucked me in a little bit.
Because I mean, when I saw the remake of Clash of the Titans,
that's what I got was this is all visual splash in the ballpark in the ballpark of that.
That's, that's what I was afraid of.
I mean, the moment I saw the trailer,
I'm like, this, this looks like Clash wrath of the Titans.
And I'm like, and the, and the, the mummy returned.
When I saw Jeffrey Rush as Rob.
I went, okay, now I really have a question.
Because he's bald, but he has like a blonde, braid, mohawk thing.
I, and I'm such a fan of that guy.
You would be bald.
I'm a fan of most of the people in this film.
Yeah.
It's, it, it just, it kind of hurts my heart a little bit.
I mean, I really wish,
I could properly describe this thing.
Because there are certain things, and this thing's two hours and seven minutes.
It's over two hours long.
Hmm.
Pretty, pretty hefty budget, too.
It's got 140 million.
And it's, it's paced well.
I can't say that it really dragged at any point.
But there was a couple of points of like, we could cut to the final battle right here and be cool.
But, oh, no, no, no, we got to put another 20 minutes in, in between that.
And this, and this movie would normally be right in my wheelhouse.
Because I'm absolutely, I'm a huge fan of, of pretty much any form of mythology.
But, this just does nothing, just, the, the, the little bit that I saw in the trailers.
I'm like, this just, this just doesn't appeal to me.
But again, I can't say I hated it.
It was better than actually the Scots and Kings.
I can tell you that right now.
Because I would, I'll tell you, and I'll also put this in my written review.
Once sci-fi gets the rights, they're going to pay the crap out of this movie.
They're going to play the crap out of this movie.
Because it's, I'm telling you, it, I feel like it was made for sci-fi.
And some, it was like,
Let's just give it a San Francisco run.
See what she does.
Because, you know, we're not getting that toy-like money right now.
And we've already shown Stargate so many times people get ready to throw stuff at us.
So let's put something else.
Well, and, and, you know, we're starting to run out of time with our allegiance series.
I think they're doing that, too.
I'm not mistaken.
But I, I'm not mad.
That's the thing.
And that's the weird thing about this for me.
I'm not, I'm not like, ready to throw stuff around the studio.
I wasn't even mad driving home.
I was more mad about having problems with my fence outside the house.
Then I was about this film.
I wouldn't go out of my way to see it again.
But I didn't walk out like,
Oh, that was a thing.
I mean, it was definitely a thing.
It just, it just really bums me because I, because it,
This thing seemed like it would, it has the potential to be something better than what it was.
It's going to be a lot of people's guilty pleasure film.
I can tell you this right now.
There's going to be a lot of people that are going to buy this on DVD or blue ray.
They're going to kind of put it to the back of the collection.
And when nobody's around, they're going to come.
I don't know what I need to watch that again.
When they get a phone call, what do you do? Nothing.
Watching sports center.
And stuff.
There's a, there's a couple of scenes where I was like,
Okay, let's, let's back off the cheese a little bit.
But again, I didn't hate it.
It was just kind of a thing.
Well, I mean, you've got my, you've got my interest peaked.
It sounds like something that I should probably definitely give a serious look to.
I wouldn't say not, yeah.
And let's just bleed that into the, to the, to the, to the final announced.
Okay. The way we do the final announced us on this show.
We're not going to give you thumbs up thumbs down.
We're not going to give you numbers.
We're not going to give you stars.
We're not going to give you a letter grade.
Our audience whom we love to refer to as our empire.
They want us to dig deeper on that for you because we're going to do that.
Two questions, question number one.
What I see this again.
The answer is no, we're done here.
The answer is yes.
How far am I willing to go?
Will I pay for a price?
Will I go to a twilight?
What do you do a man named?
What I hated early in the morning?
What I waited for in second run to dollar theater?
Maybe Netflix?
Maybe red box?
Maybe cable?
Would you see this again, Rob?
I'm on the fence.
Not your fence outside.
No, no, no.
God, no.
I would.
But not by much.
You know how like when you're in the pool.
And they had that rope that separates the deep end from the shallow end.
Right.
Yeah.
I've got my arm on that rope.
And I'm trying to balance myself on it.
But I'm just to this side of yes.
Like the ropes holding me.
But it may break and I might fell straight down.
So yes, but it's a very, very.
Iffy.
Yes.
I will say this.
Be prepared for master pancake to take this film on.
I kind of figured as much.
I wouldn't go out of my way.
But iffy was in a room and it was on,
I wouldn't walk out of set room.
You wouldn't avoid it, but you're not going to go out of your way to side out.
I'm not paying for it.
Right.
Some would say I already have.
But again, it's not that I didn't like the film.
Like I could see something there that I was like.
Okay, I can give you that.
But not enough for me to go.
Oh, okay.
I'm pleasantly surprised.
Not to to make a pun out of Egyptian traditions.
But if it's curiosity in the cat.
There you go.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
I mean, it sounds like a fair assessment to me.
I mean, I'd, you've, you've kind of, you've kind of,
It's not John Chaturro.
It's an Egyptian.
That's all I'm saying.
You, but you have turned me around because I was going to avoid it all together.
I would say check it out.
Okay.
Then.
But.
But.
But.
You know what I mean?
You, you, you have done your job because you've convinced me.
I need to at least give it a shot.
All right.
So let's do the plug.
So you can do so.
The film is God's of Egypt directed by Alex Royce.
Thank you again to our friends at Morocco.
Julie.
Thank you so much for having us out.
And thanks to the people at some entertainment for allowing me the chance to screen this so that we can review it for the empire.
Visit our website www dot the clubhouse podcast.com as where that is.
Find out everything you need to know when some stuff you don't.
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Look up the clubhouse podcast on Facebook with the word podcast on the end or it's something completely different.
Follow us on Twitter.
We would enjoy that as well.
At clubhouse show, you can follow me on Twitter.
I'd really dig that.
I'm at yes.
That Rob Irvin that has spelled ERV.
I am at chat in BG69.
The official fact checker of this show is Don Ford.
You can follow him on Twitter at Fondon Go.
You can also email him for information on how we can come to a live show for you.
We love doing live remote shows and hang out with the empire.
Email him Don at the clubhouse podcast.com.
Email me.
Questions, comments, concerns.
Don't make a sound saying.
I am Rob at the clubhouse podcast.com.
I am chat at the clubhouse podcast.com.
Charlotte Parker is on Pinterest because we are morally obligated to say that.
And Jill's mom, she might kind of dig this as well.
I'm sure if I decide to watch it, she'll be right there with me.
Our normal show is live every Sunday, night, seven Eastern, four Pacific.
Or just keep subscribing on iTunes and you get all the cool stuff.
And some more cool stuff coming up very soon.
So until next time, for chat, for the empire, I'm Rob.
Clubhouse is closed.
You really could use Bernie Palmer in this.
Seriously.
The preceding was a sooner orgator production.
Get a go! Get a go!
Why? Because I have to.