iTunes Exclusive Episode Criminal

The following is a sooner orgator production.
Good morning!
Greetings Empire member and or members.
If you are hearing the sound of my voice right now, the following conditions have been
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At least once in your life, you have listened to the clubhouse podcast, your one-stop shop
for all things sports and entertainment, live every Sunday, night, 70's turn for Pacific.
But it also means you subscribe on iTunes because it's time for another iTunes exclusive.
We've done quite a few of this year.
My name is Rob and smooth yes, criminal no.
Unless you call me a thief of hearts, but no one really ever has, so I'm not alone for
this particular episode.
Joining me across the desk as he tends to do is a man who has his hands covering his face
as he often does on this show.
He is Chad welcome sir, I hate my life right now, just now, it comes and goes and
wave right now.
It's been almost six years, right, it's just now, right now it's a tsunami.
Also joining me across the desk as he does from time to time is a man who likes to watch
a lot of cops, not the show he just likes watching.
He is the ginger ninja, he is the king of bowling, he is Andrew welcome sir.
Thank you, I have a great view from the balcony.
Exactly.
You're toast them as they go by.
Yeah.
Number three.
Also joining us, is the official fact checker of this show and a man who's known
a few criminals in his life because he used to have to make sure they were on the
up and up when they were released back into society.
You may know him as fond Don Go but his mom and even Don Ford, I'm going to call him
Don Ford welcome sir.
Yeah, my old days, a C.S.C.D. officer Ford, yeah, living well documented on this show.
Yes, it was.
Whatever we do one of these, it is to review something and this is no different.
Today, we are reviewing the latest film from Ariel Roman.
You would know him from things like RX, Danica, the Ice Man, and he's got a couple of more
films coming out very soon, one of which is a documentary.
It is called Criminal, let me just run this cast down for you.
Kevin Costner probably without a British accent.
Gal Gadot, Wonder Woman, bringing it Alice Eve, what kind of kind of an healthy crush
on it?
Have you ever seen she's out of my league?
Is she out of your league?
Is that the name of it?
She's out of it.
She's out of my life.
I'm here from Star Trek Adidas.
Kevin Costner, if we just mentioned him, Gary Oldman, Dominage Owens, is in this.
Not Adkins, the great Robert Dovy is in this, former Bond villain and the one Timothy
don't film.
Yes, worth it.
Here, I'm just going to give you, because this is going to have layers to it.
I'm just going to give you the IMDB description before we start.
Oh, wait.
Hold on.
Stop it.
Okay, go.
We have to thank Julie and everybody now at Slyfox, Slyfox, so we are now Slyfox,
because they're, we're getting in there.
But, yeah, I guess they changed the name.
Yes, they did.
Yes, so we're going to call them Slyfox, but thank you so much for the invite, Julie.
We really, really appreciate it.
Chad and I cannot make this one, but part of the reason Andrews here is because Don and Andrew
got to see this and so we're going to get a different perspective.
Here's what IMDB says.
And a last ditch effort to stop a diabolical plot, easy for me to say, a dead CIA operative
series of memories, secrets, and skills are implanted into a death row inmate, and hopes
that he will complete the operative's mission.
Said death row inmate is Kevin Cochner.
Correct?
Yes, it is.
All right.
So let's pull this train out of the station, Ryan Reynolds is the CIA operative.
Yeah, and they're in London, but they're American CIA officers.
I mean, with a cast like this, I would say the margin for error is pretty slim.
But you still have a script to deal with.
So let's start with the actors themselves first.
Andrew, how did this cast work for you?
I haven't worked great for me.
As usual, and any movie with Gary Oldman I've seen, he's knocked it out of the ballpark.
I'll give props to Ryan Reynolds.
He is Commissioner Gordon.
Yeah, he is.
Alice Eve.
I was expecting, oh, she did will for her character, but besides just a visual on the screen,
I don't know why she was in the movie to begin with.
Which kind of her to me?
Because she can be.
Yeah.
I'll see if how you do it.
Yeah.
Don.
With Oldman, you know you're going to get knee played that role like Commissioner
Gordon stuff perfectly as the head of the CIA unit in London.
So with that, you know, you're going to go with a played, it was Oldman.
With Reynolds, we have to warn you that he's only basically in the movie for about 10 minutes.
Would you say?
Okay.
About 10.
Again, it was fine.
It was Reynolds.
We expect a serious role.
He played the part very well, but it's short lived.
You do see him in flashbacks though.
Yeah.
That's what he did.
Yeah.
But the last.
Costor.
It's kind of different because, you know, you think him as, you know, Robin Hood,
always fill the dreams.
You're welcome internet.
Bam.
Bam.
Bam.
Always shopping.
There too.
You see what I did there?
Yeah.
No.
Extra, you know, he's didn't have to dance those wolves in some of the other stuff.
He's the, you know, the good guy, the hero.
This one, he plays a ruthless.
He's a bad guy.
Yeah.
A very bad guy with really no conscience.
And that's part of the storyline.
For him, his character, I got admit, it was very interesting watching him as the bad
guy.
And he really had no conscience, but as the character grew, he had some good comedy moments
would add into the character, which made you why can't more and more it's time went
on.
Give it to him on that.
He delivered it to it so smooth.
Like you wouldn't, you weren't expecting it and you go, wait, I just heard that.
Yeah, I'm not.
Yeah, I'm not.
You know, he's a ruthless, you know, criminal with no conscience.
I love the name of his character.
Jericho Stewart.
Private eye.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They had a lot of weird names like that.
Well, I see that there's Natalie Burn, who you would remember from the expendables
three.
She plays a character named Shushu, that is S H W S H W S H W I guess they forgot the word
fly at the end of it, but that's just me.
But, or did anybody really stand out to you guys from an acting perspective?
I would have one, I would have to go with Cosner, because the way he is able to play that
role.
Believe it or not, Alice Eve, I think she did get in her role.
Oh, I said, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, two and a half lines.
Yeah, it's no.
I mean, but no, and also who's the, Tommy Lee Jones, Tommy Lee Joe, he played his role
of what you expect.
You know what I'm saying?
He wasn't the fugitive greatness, but still, he was still Tommy Lee Jones.
And Chad, you know who else is in this?
On Jay Trial.
Really?
Fiora Ull for Man of Steel.
So, so you've got Jonathan Kent from Man of Steel, and that's from Man of Steel.
What do you got Gal Gaddo is Wonder Woman, Ryan Reynolds is Deadpool?
Yeah.
Tommy Lee Jones played the lead Joe.
He was in Captain America.
Okay, okay.
I'd do in Captain America and not Batman.
But in my other shot, my one shot, I would have to go to Malia, because he plays
like the, the mob boss, Jordan Malia, yeah, I can't, I'm not even going to try it
for now.
He's been a last dev, you know, well known actor.
He was uncredited in Ant Man.
He was in the heart of the sea.
He was in Riddick.
He was in Columbiana.
Night and day.
Wow, this guy's got a lot of stuff.
Yeah, he's been, you'd recognize him if you ever saw him.
It's stuff.
Elizabeth, the golden age.
He put a King Philip.
The second?
So he plays like the Bond, Bill and character, you could say, but he plays it well
as a ruthless guy.
But smooth.
A smooth, ruthless character.
Yeah.
One thing I didn't like was the, how Gary Oman's character was written.
He was just like intense and then more intense all the way throughout the movie.
But that was, that was going to be my next question was with a cast like this, is this,
is the script up to a cast like this or did the cast have to come down to this script?
Yeah, I think the cast came down.
Yeah, they came down to this.
I really, which I put in my written review at www.theclubhouse.com cast, that just happens
to be our website.
I put on there that the first half of the movie is really into, I like the concept
of what they're trying to do there.
But then the last third I would probably say, it got into that action-fill film mold of stuff
that's predictable that you would, it's like, oh, they're just doing the standard, you know,
follow what we have to do in the mold of an action film.
A lot of the predictability at the end.
I like what they're trying to do at the beginning is this plot can be a thinkable
Schindler's list.
No, it's not.
Farthest thing from it.
Indeed.
I wouldn't say we've your brain at the door, but you know, maybe putting a locker, you
know what I'm saying.
Yeah, it runs out.
It runs 113 minutes.
I mean, that's an hour, 53.
Yeah.
Yeah.
First half of the game.
I thought it flow great with the plot and everything.
But then after that, the last half, I thought there's a couple moons that dragged
and are going, really, do we have to do this?
It's the standard bank bank bank bank.
The action scenes in near the end, the climax is kind of seemed rushed.
And then you kind of got that Hollywood predictable ending.
Now, we've seen another high-octane shoot them up film recently in Hardcore Henry.
Can you compare the two?
Is it apples and oranges?
Apples and oranges.
But there's one thing they haven't common.
This film is brutal.
A lot of violence.
A lot of violence.
Oh, it's your violent.
And it's realistic violence.
And it is right at arm.
Yeah, it's right at arm.
There's a reason.
So there is a lot of brutality, but it's realistic.
I mean, when they, someone gets shot, it shows the, after effects.
But it that way.
Yeah.
There's some scenes where they're trying to get information out of somebody.
Okay, which was real brutal at the beginning.
Oh, yeah.
Very brutal.
Yeah.
And something new.
I hadn't seen that form of torture before.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's unfortunate.
Yeah.
And there's lots of cursing too.
Oh, yeah.
Another reason why I tried it all.
For reasons.
Oh, yeah.
So the plot I thought was the beginning.
I like that for that.
It's kind of, you know, too much predictability.
And it's like, are you kidding me at the end?
I thought, you know.
But look, the look.
It's, it's Roman's first film he directed since 2006 with Danica.
I would like to say on the look of the film.
I thought showbundant well.
Yes, she knew his London at the beginning.
It says London.
So you kind of know.
But they didn't really try to shove it down your throat.
So it was like, hey, we're in London.
Yeah.
You knew we're there.
But it showed the look of the city.
There is some CGI.
I thought.
But it didn't overkill it on the CGI.
I thought the mix was very well.
It kind of brought you down in.
There was there's some very intense scenes.
And like we mentioned with the gore.
And you're like, oh, yeah.
So it wasn't over the top.
It was, there was just enough gore to keep the thing moving.
Without be like, okay.
Right.
Yeah.
The reason why you have so much star powers.
Because the script could have probably been written a little bit better.
They helped it out.
And maybe, maybe I'm just coming this off top of my head.
It was Gary Oldman's character.
Written like to where he just like dominated Tommy Lee Jones.
Like it seemed like any time Tommy Lee was about to like,
just steal the shot and give that.
Yeah.
And then it was like, Gary Oldman's jump in there like,
Oh, yeah.
Which one of them will put the most scenery between their teeth is what I was here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It just took me out of the movie.
Yeah.
Like Jones is one of those characters who will stand up.
This one's like, okay.
Yes.
You know.
I'm your boss.
I'm the head of the chief here.
You know.
That's what he's best for.
Stop it.
I'm going to get you to watch that film.
No.
You are not going to have no with his it.
Which I don't know what it is.
I'm going to get you to watch that film.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
The two biggest gamers in here have not seen that movie.
Two.
It's so bad.
Man of the house.
There's a reason.
You got to get him.
Man of the house.
Tommy Lee Jones.
But yeah.
His character was up there.
It wasn't a fugitive.
But it was there.
But the CGI thought it was.
Good mix on that.
Okay.
All right.
Anything.
You need to chat from here.
We can go to the final.
That's cool.
All right.
The way we do the final analysis on this show.
You thumbs up thumbs down.
We're not going to give you numbers, letter grades.
Anything like that.
Our audience whom we affectionately refer to as the empire.
They want us to dig a little deeper.
So we're going to do that.
I'm going to ask these gentlemen up to two questions.
Question number one.
Would you see this film again?
The answer is no.
We're done here.
The answer is yes.
I want to know how far they're willing to go to do it.
Full price to the theater.
Maybe a matinee.
Maybe twilight.
Maybe early morning.
Maybe dollar theater second run.
Maybe red box.
Maybe Netflix.
Maybe cow gag.
What's that thing called cable?
That thing that I have in the other room.
Done.
Yes, sir.
Would you see this film again?
Yes, I would.
How far you want to go?
I'm going to recommend it as a red box rental when you get all the guys over.
Okay.
You know, kind of leave the brain out the door, but at the locker.
Maybe.
But yeah.
You want some shoot them up.
Just get the guys over on the red box.
Grab some beer.
Serve them up.
Exactly.
What the heck are you doing?
It's my Tommy Lee Jones.
It's my ear.
You said it with more enthusiasm.
Yeah.
Andrew, would you see this again?
Yes, I would.
How far you want to go?
I recommend watching this on like a premium cable channel.
Because if you watch it on USA, or it's going to be like 20 minutes long.
Yeah.
You're just going to get bored and you're going to like go do laundry during the commercial
for example.
All right.
So it's like watching Scarface on the cartoon network.
Yeah.
I love that feature right on the DVD of how they edited it for television.
Oh.
It is called criminal directed by Ariel Roman.
Again, we got good marks from the boys.
Yeah.
It's a guy's nap.
But again, we have to thank Julie and everybody at Sly Fox for inviting us to this thing.
Thank you so much.
Get Julie.
All right, guys.
Let's do the plugs.
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Because there's a moral obligation there.
Jules, why don't you think she'd be into this, sir?
It sounds like it sounds like the guy I think she'd be.
All right.
Our normal show every Sunday night, 70's from Fort Pacific,
you are one stop shop for all things sports and entertainment.
So until next time, for dawn, for Andrew, for Chad,
for the Empire, I'm Rob.
Clubhouse is closed.
Telling you a pretty poem is a great action here.
I'll give her a gun. She got a China O'Brien back in the day.
The preceding was a sooner or greater production.
Get a go! Get a go!
Why? Because I have to.