Supporting Children in Crisis: Work Behind Qavah the Storehouse | Richard & Kelly Archibald | Ep 209

Nobody would have thought that I would be the one. Ryder? Sports talk?

Baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball, baseball. Oh, it's a big mic. Oh, OK.

All right, yeah. OK, now I get it. We're going to have a lightning strike, boys.

What happened over there, Grego? We had a little lightning strike right outside the window. All right, all right.

Here's a tip for all these Americana league teams. Don't you? You said tip.

Yeah, tap, tap. Repeat. I would.

Keep jamming. To take a colon, nothing but a big Gen X jerk off say. This is a cool night or what?

Although somebody would hear that, though. Bullshit. I'm back.

I'm anxious. Well, hello, one and all. I bet you weren't expecting to hear from us today, but here we are.

Surprise. How about it? We are all here inside the nurturing bosom of the mothership.

Shopey is here. Ashley is here. I am here.

Becca's out there somewhere. Doing something. And we're doing something a little bit different today.

This is normally a time when we get back here. And we have somebody we know or somebody we want to talk to. And we have a lot of fun with them and everything.

We cut up and we find out what makes them them and everything. And the whole thing is not driven in any particular way other than to give an old guy like me one more good blow while I still can. No more and no less.

Today, though, is a little bit different. This is a little bit more, shall we say, purpose driven because I don't know if you know this or not, but this is child abuse awareness month. And we're going to be a little talking about that today because this is something you should know about if you don't.

And when you hear what it's all about, maybe you will feel moved to get involved or don't know, do whatever you have to do to help the kids out, if you will. And to this end, we are joined today by Richard and Kelly Archibald. Thank you.

That's Kelly there. Yes. That's Richard over there.

Yeah. Thank you for having us. We're so grateful.

Well, we're very happy to help you guys out. And I'm looking forward to finding out what this is all about. Tell us about where you are, what you guys do, what you hope to accomplish with this thing this month.

So we are in Rockwell County, but we serve the surrounding areas. We serve children in foster care, children at risk of removal, youth aging out of the system and their families. And so we started this with first night bags.

And so we, because of Richard's upbringing, we saw a need for this. And so what a first night bag is, it's all a child needs that first night they've been removed. And so a lot of times they come when they come into care, like foster care or kidship care, they have nothing or they have their things in a garbage bag.

So we started about eight years ago collecting these first night bags. And it's, so it's pajamas, underwear socks, toiletries, clothes for the next day, something of comfort, something. Eric, can I have one?

Absolutely. Absolutely. He doesn't take good care of himself.

Okay. Maybe he's a kidship care. He does.

Yes. Okay. So we started that and, and that's what we do.

And we have grown. We became an official 501C3 a few years ago. Now for those who may not know the uninitiated, like say me, what does that mean exactly?

So we are a nonprofit recognized by the IRS as a nonprofit. And so he's the grown-up of the situation. He's a lawyer and did all our paperwork for that.

And he does the grown-up part of it, like the legal professional part, my other partner and we do the fun stuff, like shopping. Yeah. So.

Okay. And beyond that, I just put together whatever they need me to put together or, you know, put down floors. Yes.

Oh, wow. Yes. Carry things around.

Yes. He was our labor. He was our labor today.

He carried all our clothes today. Non-contract labor. That is it.

This sounds like a big undertaking. How long have you guys been at this? Well, we started collecting first-night bags about eight years ago.

And then we grew. We've been a 501C3 about two, three years. And so it just kind of grew organically in that we got connected with different people through CPS or the CAC, which is the Children's Advocacy Center, CASA, your, I'm sorry, your husband's a CASA.

And so there are a lot of organizations that we've gotten connected with to help provide for children and their families. And so what our goal is to help keep the family together. If it's a financial need, like, okay, we had a, we had a resource fear today and we bought candy for it, just the candy alone cost us $70.

So things are so expensive, gas is so expensive. And so you think about a family and if you have five children and you're trying to provide and you work at the waffle house, and, you know, your kids may not be dressed well and so people start going, I'm going to turn them in or whatever. So if we can help some families financially just shore them up to keep that family together then it helps them as a unit and helps protect the children because the parents do love them.

They just don't have the financial means because what's the removal happens? And we've been at this long enough to kind of see some patterns in that. So children who have grown up in foster care, then they get out of the system and they have nowhere to go.

And so we've seen them go from foster care to homelessness to addiction to rehab and then they still don't have anywhere to go. And so it's just trying to help meet some of those needs that we see in the community with children and the youth aging out of the system. One boy the other day, he, and I almost brought his letter, he wrote us a letter that was just, it breaks your heart and I told Kelly, when we started this, I was really struggling emotionally because of the, you know, when a child looks you in the eye and says, I'm going to go live at my care and my case workers office because I have nowhere else to go.

It's very devastating as a human to look in these little eyes and see these things. And so the boy who, he was getting out of rehab right now and they said, what do you need or what would you like? And he said, I need some new shoes, I've had these shoes for four years.

And so, I mean, how easy is it to provide someone a pair of shoes? And so being able to have the opportunity to serve these children in this population is really a privilege for us to be able to do. What kind of backgrounds, and I'm thinking I'm not going to be asking something that's a very pretty picture here, but what kind of backgrounds exactly do these kids come from?

Is it parents who just don't care for them or are parents who can't care for them or all of the above or what? I think it's a variety. I think that sometimes it's addiction plays a part in some situations, incarceration plays a part, even if it has nothing to do with the children at all.

Like we've had some situations where one of the parents has been incarcerated and the other parent has to take care of everybody and work and so financially that's a huge strain on that family. So we've helped with those situations. So I think that obviously there's situations of abuse that happen and that's a different ball game in and of itself.

So I think it's just a variety of different circumstances that have happened to cause for people to be at risk of removal or having children being removed from that. Are the kids in school? Yes, most of them are in school.

I don't know that we've really ever dealt with children who aren't in school. I mean, there have been babies. Yeah, yeah.

But I mean, they are in the public school system, mostly. I mean, are they active in school? Now that's an issue because, I mean, like active, like when you get to the teen years, it's difficult if you don't have the financial means to have the right equipment.

And so that we actually, somebody asked us today, we had a resource for you today and somebody said, hey, I've got some boys who want to be in sports. Would you provide shoes for them? And I, we said absolutely.

And so, and all of this came about because of his story, I don't know if you know his story, but he grew up in a situation similar to the children that we serve. And so that is why we have done it. Well, and I was going to say, when you say active in school, you know, for the younger kids, whenever you're wearing clothes to school that are not quite right, you get a little made fun of.

Yeah. There's some things that go on there. You're not really cleaning yourself properly.

You don't know, too. And so when I'm not doing it for you, to be active is sometimes challenging. You're active in that everyone actively makes fun of you, but not really, you know, making friends and influencing people, you're just kind of taking care of yourself.

Kind of in the background. Absolutely. And that's right.

And wanting to be in the background. Right. You're not looking to get attention, you're not looking to get extra points from the teacher probably.

You're just kind of there if you even make it in the classroom, it might be hiding out or something, unfortunately. That's right. And if you identify those children, because they, back in my day, it wasn't really that much of a risk of removal, but now those children do experience risk of removal and maybe they need it, maybe they don't.

But if they can get a place where they can get some clothes that are right, learn some strategies and tools as well as the parents, then you can keep a family together. It's so hard for us to get our head around this because, you know, it's not something that I grew up with. And it's certainly not something he grew up with.

No denying there. But you know, the reality is very, it's very much out there in the, I guess the vast part of society just doesn't see it because you guys are telling me what this is like. And I'm trying to come up with a picture in my mind of a, you know, a mental picture of it.

And I can't. Right. I can't.

It's so far removed from me that, that it's just really difficult for me to visualize and imagine what the reality of it must be. So his situation, his mom, she had some mental health issues. She lost a baby between his brother and him and she probably had postpartum depression.

That's probably what they would call it today. They placed her in terror and they did whatever the procedures were at the time that caused her more mental health issues. And so by the time he was five, you know, his parents were divorced and he had had all of those situations have had happened with his mom.

And so then his father remarried. You want to. Yeah.

Just to give you kind of, try to create a picture of what that looks like, at least from my experience. Yeah. Is that.

So I don't know. There's a, you know, my mom has taken physically from the home, committed to Terrell State Hospital. And then there's a separation, of course, and I'm talking between the parents.

And then there was ultimately a divorce and then we're moving into an apartment. Well, then in an effort to have us spend time with our mother, my dad tries to say, okay, you live with them, mother, and that became, you know, a five year old, getting up on his own, walking to preschool himself at five years old, leaving preschool, going to the Mr. M to get lunch for mom and walking home, giving lunch to mom and then getting out of the house for fear of what mom's going to be like at the moment and literally staying out of the house until the brothers get home.

And just because you have a protector at that point, they were older. So I mean, that's, that's kind of a picture of what that looked like for me in that situation. Of course, I later moved into a, a different situation that became less of neglect and more of abuse, where it was intentionally sending me to school in things that didn't work for me.

So as to create that stigma for me, to me. So that's a picture, but that was, that's a different picture. God, that's tough.

I'm not saying there is maybe at least a little surprise though of just the fact that you did still go to school and some, it sounds like most of the kids that you are helping still find their way to school somehow, you know, whether it's because they're close enough to walk there, but even having the motivation, I think, to make it to school and they, some of them might know that it's not going to be the best situation for them there, but at least provides an opportunity for education to, or to get out of the home, you know, for some of them. I think I did ultimately get kicked out of preschool because I wouldn't take a nap. So, and that was unfortunate because then I had to stay outside all day and then we would come in and try to find something to eat.

My brother has a great story, well, it's not a great story. I think it's a funny story now looking back of the, me, me sitting in the, the kitchen of the apartment, trying to think, why is this spaghetti so hard, you know, just eating out of the packet, not understanding that, oh, you're supposed to do something with that, but we ate it. So.

Yeah. Yes. And so, that was, yeah, that's kind of a picture of what some of that looks like.

So what's the process like? What's the process of a kid who winds up in, I don't know, wherever they wind up at before they get to you guys? Do you want to share how, what your kinship care looked like?

Well, for, for, for me, for example, now, again, minus kinship care, meaning someone related to you is, is taking care of you. But when I, when I just turned 12, my father was shot and killed by my stepmother. And so there was this moment that, you know, I was gone with a friend at the time, and I was called and, hey, don't, don't come home, go to this place, my older brother.

And so I did, but you're, you're sitting there, there, there's no possibility of your mother taking care of you. Now your father's dead. And so what, what do you do?

So I just stayed with the friend that I was away with that day. And I couldn't go back into the home to get any clothing or just personal items. Now I was cared for by my friend's parents, so, so that was good, but not everyone has that.

Yeah. But that's where we stayed. And then, of course, that night would have been a perfect time to have a first nightback.

And that's really where this sort of grew out of was from that. That's another time when my mom was arrested. She had mental health problems and she would write prescriptions herself to get what she wanted.

And I remember it was like Steve McQueen to get away. But I guess the pharmacist knew that this is not right, so she tore out of there, comes back to the car and she's taken off. Well, she gets, she gets arrested and we go to like a detention center.

And back in those days, you were stripped of everything you had and it was more like a jail. And again, it would have been nice to have had something to wear to bed other than a gown, something to call my own a first nightback. And that's where this came about.

So that's kind of, you know, whether that's a detention center, whether that's a CPS caseworker, finding kinship care for you. You have something for the first night and a little beyond. Yeah.

So what might a kid find in a first night bag? Well, I, we have some, this is for a little girl, but I think we're some. So this would be for a little girl and we have in here, we have some cute little pajamas, slippers, we have an outfit for the next day, sorry, this is kind of messed up, a little outfit for the next day.

We have a puzzle in here for her. We have a toothbrush, toothpaste and, and so this one is for a teenage boy here. Yeah, and this one has a soccer ball in it, because, yeah, I'm not sure where the soccer came from, but I did spend, I like it, spend a little time in a soccer ball too.

Yeah, in but near children's home, I spent some time there and that was soccer year round. We were the buttoner eagles and, and so maybe that's how the soccer thing came about. But shorts, you know, for the next day, a nice hoodie sweatshirt, same thing, underwear, toothpaste, just things you need and, and, as well as pajamas, something to wear to bed, if they choose to do that.

And so we do, we chop as if we are sending our children. So everything's new, everything is, I would send my children to school in these things. This isn't used, this isn't anything that's just, we're going to throw away.

And the beauty of community is that, so once we started doing this, and we became a 501-C3 and all that, some schools started helping us. And so there are schools that have, they do fundraisers in the fall and collect items. And their students will go to Walmart and shop for first-night bags.

And one of the little girls that shopped, she had been in foster care. And she asked if she could get a straightening iron. Because she always wanted a straightening iron when she was in foster care.

And so she bought a straightening iron to put in her, the first night bag that she created for a, for a child. So it gives them an idea of, like, shopping for, like, imagining an individual who's in this situation. And you know, when you look at the numbers, which Kelly and I had hard time, you know, nailing down, like, how many children are in foster care?

Because that number is, it varies depending on what you look at. And so, but every number is a human being with a story that has had, you know, trauma in their life that we, as a society, if we can care for these individuals, we can change our society and change that little person's life, you know. What kind of numbers are we looking at?

You know, it ranged, I mean, it's a huge range right now. So in the state of, well, in our area, in the state of Texas, they privatized foster care. And so it is run by a company now, not by DFPS.

And so I'm not really sure what the numbers are. I think what did it say about that, but some say 20 and some say 30, so thousand people in the state of Texas, but we're not really sure the number did privatizing make things better or worse? Well, there were, there's a story.

Or did he not want to answer that? Well, I don't know if you've seen in the news. I know that the DFPS is taking over some of it back because there were deaths of two babies in this, in the Metroplex.

So I guess, I'm not sure. I guess the jury is out on, on that information, I, you know, my guess is not great. Okay.

Yeah, I'm, I would gather at least that much, it is not great. So if somebody wanted to donate, would it come from, like, could they, is it just a monetary value that you, that you guys would want donated? Or could they shop and do their own bag and then send it in?

Well, it, they could do either one. So if, obviously, we have Venmo and those things, we, we had storage and then we lost our storage. And so we don't have anywhere to store.

Okay, our dream is to have our own location. It's really our dream to have a location. So people can come shop, whether it's, you know, a case worker or a kinship care, whatever, to shop for themselves and or even the children to shop.

That's our dream. And so right now when we have a need, we, we generally just put that on our social media and our community feels that need. And I mean, they are so good about it.

So our, you know, absolutely shopping, you know, since things for first night bags, absolutely. We just don't have room for storage right now for a lot of it. So usually in the fall and in around Christmas is when we do first night bags and we literally have provided multiple counties with everything they need for the year and multiple years.

And so we are so grateful for the generosity of the public. And when people hear the reality of the situation of what that is like, people are so generous and kind to give to us. And if someone wants to do that, where do they go?

Who do they call? Okay. So our, we are called Caval the Storehouse and that's QAVAH and Caval's the Hebrew word for weight and hope and meaning things are kind of being woven together.

So they can go to our, we have a website, Caval the Storehouse and we have a Facebook and Instagram and we have Venmo. And that's QAVAH once again, if you would like to get involved with this. Yes.

Well, all right. This is some good work you guys are doing. Thank you.

Thank you, Mike. We appreciate you. Well, I appreciate it.

Appreciate what you guys do and I know that the people you work with and the people who have benefited from what you do appreciate it too. Thank you. It's good stuff, man.

Thank you. Thank you, Mike. All right.

Thank you for all joining us there. And thank you for watching this little quick hit YDC episode. And remember, as we said, we've got child abuse awareness month.

That's what it is going on out there this month. So get involved with that. Help the kids out.

Help these people out because you never get enough. Do you? There's never enough.

All right. Thanks for watching. We appreciate it.

Bye. Bye.